Continued Post

After the first day of standing again, I stood 10 more times for 30 minutes each out of the next 11 days. Although, on the evening of the 11th day when I got back into bed, I noticed that my left knee started hurting again. Each day since then, the pain has been off and on. Because of it, I've had to hold off on standing again.

There have been many of those days that I haven’t been able to do range of motion again because of it. I think what happened is that I may have pushed myself a little too much. I guess I was so eager to stand again after not doing for so long. Also, it felt great while standing and helped aid in changing position during the day along with fluid retention.

I’m thinking that the cortisone shot in my knee did help this time, since I was able to stand so many times afterwards. One unfortunate thing about cortisone is that there is concern that repeated shots might damage the cartilage within a joint. Doctors usually limit the number of cortisone shots into the joint. It’s typically shown that you shouldn’t get them more often than every six weeks, but no more than 3 to 4 times a year.

Other than staying off my feet, I have also been staying indoors most of February. The weather has either been below 0°F or in the single digits for a few weeks now. It’s not ideal whether for me to be outside, as my tubes can freeze, and my body can’t regulate its temperature. Today was 25°F and I was able to take Brody for a quick 15 minute walk down a couple streets. He was so excited to go and then crashed on the couch when we got back home. I haven't seen him like this for a while; he must have really needed the exercise.

Over the past couple days I created another abstract painting. It looks pretty similar to a lot of my other ones, only with different colors. I've been doing more smaller pieces, as it takes me at least an hour to get one done and my neck gets sore when I work on it. I posted a picture below.

Jenni

Standing at 90° Again

Almost 3 weeks ago, I got a cortisone shot in my left knee to help with the pain after injuring it again. I had gotten one before when I first injured it 2 years ago, but it didn’t help. I thought I’d try it another time to see if it would work. My doctor told me it would take about 2 weeks were to take effect; but I felt relief after one week. Recently, the pain started coming back, but only when my leg gets twisted a certain way or if my knee is touched in a certain spot.

When I saw the orthopedic knee doctor to get the cortisone shot, I asked him about standing. It’s been over 2 ½ years since I’ve stood in my wheelchair, all because of my knees. He said he doesn’t see a reason why I shouldn’t be able to stand, unless I was in a lot of pain while standing. I was under the impression by the previous orthopedic doctor that I saw that I shouldn’t stand. To me, this was great news!

A few days ago, I tried standing. Within the first 2 minutes, I made it all the way up to 90° for 30 minutes. This is amazing news, considering I’ve been holding off on the off chance that something could happen to one of my knees while standing. Even better, I have been standing every day since for 30 minutes since. I check my blood pressure about every 5-10 minutes just to make sure it’s not dropping.

There are a lot of benefits to standing for someone with a spinal cord injury, especially in my situation with such a high-level injury. Standing is the ultimate pressure relief because it helps prevent pressure sores and promote skin growth. It also stretches hamstrings and other muscles which results in less muscle spasms. It helps with stabilizing blood pressure, reduces extra fluid in the body, bowel and bladder function, increases overall well-being and enhances quality of life.

Although it gives you more stamina and aids in better sleep, for me it’s like doing a full workout, so it wears me out and I can get really tired. I’m definitely going to continue trying to stand every day for at least 30 minutes. I’m glad that I decided to try it again!

Jenni

Choices in Life

Life is made up of an endless number of choices. Most decisions, such as what you’ll eat for the day, are small and only slightly influential. It’s the big decisions-the ones that will change your life indefinitely-that are difficult to make. Every choice we choose can impact our life either in a good or bad way, it helps form us to find out who we are to ourselves and to other people.

When thinking about the occasions that I had to make big decisions, it was after my accident. The number of times which I had a hard time accepting my new normal was less than a handful. It helped that I had support from friends and family. I also had a positive thinking that things were going to be okay despite what happened to me. 

One occasion in which I had a difficult time was when I said no to getting out of bed for a few days in a row. I just wanted to not deal with all the "stuff" that I normally do every day. It took my mom to literally get me out of bed, despite me saying no, for me to realize how important it is for my mind and body to be in different positions. It was after that where I told myself that from then on, I was continually going to have to make decisions, good or bad, and choose how I wanted to live my life.

Also, since I went back to school the year after my accident, I was forced to be around a bunch of people, including the same peers as before. It did make it hard at times to adjust, but I would always tell myself that I'm in it for the long run, even if I didn't always believe it at the time. It helped me cope with those difficult situations and breakdowns. I know not everybody in this situation has the same feelings or ability to adjust their thinking based on what others tell them or what they tell themselves. 

As far as what I would tell someone in my shoes, I would start off by asking the question "what motivates you to get out of bed every day?” Maybe it would get people thinking about their life and what they are thankful for. We all have choices in our lives, and I think the biggest one of all is whether to walk away or try harder.

Jenni

“Choice is the most powerful tool we have. Everything boils down to choice. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities. Every choice that we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens a number of infinite doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts, and our minds.” -Anonymous

Hello 2021

This year so far started off a little rough for me. About a week and ½ ago during physical therapy I re-injured my left knee. I wrote a post last year where I stated having pain in that knee starting in 2018. I got an MRI on it in January 2019 and found out I tore my MCL. Although it healed, I was still having slight pain off and on, so I’ve been unable to stand. Injuring it again has caused me even more pain, and I’ve had to start wearing my knee brace again.

Also, I ended up developing a respiratory infection and got on some antibiotics this past week. I haven’t had one for quite a while, so I was surprised when I started feeling signs of it. For me, my secretions get thicker and discolored, I require oxygen (normally I’m on room air) and I need to be suctioned more frequently. Being on antibiotics messes with my body, and I end up having more problems that I don’t need.

The other hard thing is that since I need to be careful because of COVID, I haven’t been going out to places like usual. It doesn’t help that it’s January, cold outside, and the streets are full of snow so I can’t take Brody for a walk. Good news, I started up my Bible study group on Wednesday and that’s been keeping me busy. My other one starts this Monday.

Hopefully by next month everything will start to go uphill and not be so much of a downer. I know God doesn’t give me challenges in which I cannot handle. Even though He gives me tests every so often, I remain positive knowing that I am still here for reason!

Jenni

Poems about Life Struggles

Life Is Precious

The gracefulness

of a butterfly,

how gentle,

and fragile they seem.

Gently fluttering,

on a calm summers day,

floating like,

a dream.

But sadly,

their time is over,

Hardly before it’s begun.

So enjoy

your special moments,

like a butterfly,

in the sun.

-Anonymous

The Roller Coaster Life

We are just in a whole crazy,

Perplexing roller coaster ride;

When we have problems,

We are at the downside.

But sure, the time will come

When with the sky we’ll collide;

Where the good feelings came

And the pain will all subside.

So when the time comes

 you are going to fall;

You should always know

That He’s the one to call.

Eventually, you’ll soar up;

The wheels will start to roll;

‘Till you reach the peak,

and You’ll be standing tall.

-Anonymous

Past, Present, Future

Our past we can’t recapture.

It’s over and it’s done.

No way to recover time;

All those days are gone.

No amount of coloring

painting with bright hue

can change the way things happened.

No way to make it true.

No use fretting over

Regretting bygone days

No need to get entangled

In memory’s purple haze.

Or caught up in unraveling

( or, of hoping we could do )

things that didn’t go the way

that we would want them to.

The future is uncertain

No way for us to see,

the things that tomorrow’s holding,

for you or for me!

NOW is what’s obtainable,

just moments here to share.

The future comes so quickly –

unseen but waiting there.

Seize the present moments.

Grab all we can contain!

Our future are elusive.

Our past we cannot chain!

-June Kellum

Christmas 2020

Merry Christmas to all!

Usually, we host Christmas every year. Although this year was a little bit different than others. With COVID and having to remain socially distanced (10 people or less per household), it’s difficult to do anything huge. We got together last night to open gifts and eat prime rib. We had the same people over as thanksgiving- my aunt, sister, her boyfriend, and my 2 nieces. One good thing about only hosting a small amount of people is that I don’t get as exhausted as I usually do around this time of year!

On another note, we did have a white Christmas. The day before Christmas eve we had a blizzard. It snowed all day into the night. It’s barely snowed all month, which is rare for December. I thought we were going to have another brown Christmas. The one bad thing is it’s harder for me to go outside in the snow. Hopefully, things will start to melt, and the plows will clear the streets within the next couple weeks.

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday!

Jenni

Journal History II

In 2012, I created a new series on my blog based off journal entries from my CaringBridge website that I started after my accident. The first post shared entries from November 5-17th. I thought I would write another post continuing from the last. This one starts November 17th and ends with December 3. If you want to read the first blog post in this series called Journal History I, click here.

Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 09:36 AM (CST)

We would like to devote this journal entry to educate you about Jenni's injury and present physical condition. Jenni suffered a compression injury to her neck, specifically her spinal cord in her cervical vertibrae, (C1-C2), at the base of her neck. As a result of this injury, she does not have voluntary control of any muscles below this point, including her diaphram. She is on a ventilator to provide her breathing. Above the point of injury, she is completely functional with the exception of her voice. The ventilator tube enters her trachea below her vocal cords. 

Eventually she will learn to pass air across her vocal cords allowing her to speak with sound. At this time there is nothing surgically or medically available to repair spinal cord damage. None, partial or full regeneration of the nerve cells may happen, but only time will tell. You can learn more about her type of injury by visiting www.spinalcord.org. We hope to move Jenni from HCMC Peds ICU to Gillette Children's Hospital in St Paul for rehabilitation as soon as we get the ok. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 11:09 AM (CST)

We wanted to keep Sunday's journal as current for a couple of days to provide you with an overview of Jenni's injury and physical condition. We hope someday we will be able to make a point changes to that entry. If you have not seen the entry, click on past journal entries to read it. 

The Hospital Staff and Family are busy preparing Jenni for her transfer to Gillette Children's Hospital. It is still unknown when that will happen, but we are hoping for later this week. Today the OT's will get Jenni in a chair again. It is important her body learns to adjust to a more upright position. All in all she is in good spirits, herself looking forward to the move.

Again we thank everyone for all you have done. We cannot get through this without the tremendous support you have given. "Together". God Bless.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:49 AM (CST)

Good morning. A couple of things happened with Jenni yesterday. She got to sit in a chair again..a full half hour! Today she is scheduled to sit again, only this time she may go "mobile" and get to see out a window. 

Jenni also received her long- awaited new trachea tube. This one is much smaller and much more comfortable for her. A speaking valve was temporarily installed, and she worked her vocal cords for about 15 minutes. It was nice to hear her sweet voice. 

Today is packing day for the family room. We are scheduled to move to Gillette on Thursday morning. 

Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 07:41 AM (CST)

Moving Day! This morning Jenni will be transferred from Hennipen County Medical Center to Gillette Children's Hospital in St Paul. Gillette is on the 4th floor of Regions Hospital. Today we will be busy learning more about the Hospital, the routines, parking, visitor hours, and meeting new people.

At this time we do not know the room Jenni will be in, a phone number, or when visiting hours are. Please allow us a couple of days to get settled before visiting. We will let you know the details of visitation, etc on Friday.

Thank you again for helping us through the last 3 weeks at HCMC ICU. We know we have a very long road ahead, but knowing you are all "Together" with us, we feel strong enough to make the journey.

Friday, November 22, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CST)

Today was the first full day at Gillette, filled with a lot of time gathering information, and adjusting to the new sounds, etc. Jenni is worn out. She seems to be adjusting well though. Last night she had a visit from friend Jeremy and his friend Ben. They came with their guitars and put on a little jam session for Jenni. When we recognized a song by Eric Clapton, the boys seemed excited that they were hitting the right cords. Great job guys! Jenni really enjoyed the time you spent with her. Hope you boys can make the stop again. (If the tour allows it.)

At this point there has not been any sign of improvement to Jenni's spinal cord, nor does she have any sensation below the point of injury. She still requires a ventilator to breathe. Regardless, we are filled with so much hope as we look for just one little sign of improvement, and we are so thankful to have our Jenni in our lives, and in yours.

Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 09:11 AM (CST)

Saturday was an active day early, then Jenni fell asleep for the afternoon. The HHS Girl's Basketball team stopped by after practice. Coach Cos and the team brought an autographed basketball from the Timberwolves. Thank you, Jenni will treasure it forever.

Later, we moved Jenni to a wheelchair. Tessa and Nina stopped by and gave Jenni a clock that has pictures of her friends at the hour marks. Really cool. After about 45 minutes in the chair, she started to fall asleep, so we moved her back to bed. She slept the rest of the afternoon.

Saturday night was the first night since the accident that no family stayed the night with Jenni. We are confident the Staff at Gillette took good care of her. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 06:36 PM (CST)

Jenni had a great night of sleep last night! She has not slept very good since moving to Gillette. Dad stopped by the Hospital at 7:30 am and stayed with her until Lori and Kristen got there around noon. She was so happy to see us. Jen spent 2 hours in the "chair". 

She had visits from Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Thereapy, Phychology, and Speech Pathoglogy. What a day in the chair! Jen got a new bed today, the old one had trouble rotating anyway. Pillows, lots of pillows, move our Jenni from side to side on the new bed. She's loving it. 

Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CST)

Kristen writes tonight’s journal entry:

Jenni did not have very many visitors today, but wishes she had more because she was bored and there was nobody to talk to.(Except Nurses)

Jen spent about 1-1/2 hrs in her chair today and had a visit from her cousins Ben and Bridget on their way home to North Dakota. She got a visit from Bruce from the Casting Department and he made models of her legs for braces. The braces will help Jenni keep her ankles straight. She had a tough time deciding what pattern she wanted on them but she finally decided that she wanted Tweety on right leg and Taz on the left leg.

Things are going well and she was in good spirits today. We will update more on Thursday. God Bless.

Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CST)

Thanksgiving Day. Traditions. The Macy's Parade, Families gathering, dinner preparation, John Madden's 6-legged turkey, an afternoon nap, pumpkin pie, lefse, a late turkey sandwich, the wishbone. We have much to be thankful for. This year is a little different for us without Jenni home, but we have many new things to be thankful for.

Jenni is still a BIG part of our lives. Jenni still has her memories, her emotions, her Big Heart, and her sense of humor. Jenni is loved by a lot of people, family and friends, and she loves us right back. We are very thankful for this.

As you say your prayers today before your traditional Thanksgiving dinner, sneak a little "Jenni" in there. She would like that. Be thankful on this day for everything and everyone in your lives, and may God Bless you all. 

Friday, November 29, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CST)

Thanks for the Thanksgiving thoughts! Saw Jenni today, she was in a "bad mood", as she put it. She leaked she has been spoiled by nurse Tessa, who is off until Monday. She is still in good hands, but has found her favorite care givers.

This afternooon she transferred to her wheelchair. Neal, (Modifying Man), completed his work. He changed the chair so Jenni is completely mobile; ventilator, food, monitors, and suction. (Sorry, had to leave the two EMINEM posters behind-darn). 

Jenni took a trip to the shower room with her mom Lori to get her hair washed. They could use a hand -held sprayer in there.

Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 11:45 AM (CST)

We didn't forget about Saturday, it was just a busy day all around. Jenni had a lot of visitors throughout the day and they kept her active. Later in the evening she took a trip to the whirlpool bath. This was her first "full" bath.

This morning the RT removed some air from Jen's trachea tube allowing her to speak without the valve. She is doing a wonderful job of adjusting. Now she can speak at will, anytime. Soon they will remove all the air allowing air to pass over her vocal cords all of the time. 

All in all Jenni is in good spirits. Visitors really help, so keep coming when you can. God Bless.

Monday, December 02, 2002 at 07:39 PM (CST)

Jenni has made some very big strides the last couple of days. The Staff has removed almost all of the air,(actually water in this style), from her trachea insert. Picture a small tube inserted into a larger tube. In this case the small tube is the trachea insert, the large tube is Jenni's actual trachea tube. Around the small tube is a cuff, or balloon containing water. Inflated this cuff seals the trachea tube allowing air to enter and leave only through the small tube. Deflated, it allows air to enter the small tube, but exit past her vocal cords.

Jenni has found the joy of talking again-anytime she wants! She's loving it and so are we. She is surely actually talked on the phone Sunday. She called her Grandpa and Grandma Jim and Jean in Arizona, her Mom, her sister Kristen and Aunt Sandy. (We see speed dial and a headset in the near future.) 

Stop by and talk to Jenni sometime, she can't wait to show and tell you what she can do! She is so amazing.

Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:59 PM (CST)

Wow! What a difference a day makes. Yesterday we explained how some water was removed from the cuff in Jenni's trachea insert allowing her to talk...freely...anytime she wanted...and she did...all day...til she was hoarse. Today they removed all of the water from the cuff. She talked, and ate applesauce, and talked more, and drank 7up, then talked about mashed potatoes and how good they would taste, then got mashed potatoes from the cafeteria and ate them, then talked about how good they tasted. What a difference a day made.

It is so inspiring to witness this amazing young lady work with this condensed version of the larger life she had been used to prior to the accident. Jenni is truly one of God's finer children and may the whole world get to know her some day...she would make a difference.

Things I've Been Doing

I’ve had a few appointments in the last month. Most have been through video or phone calls with doctors. Nothing in particular; just a follow-up or annual visits. I’ve had other appointments for new nighttime AFOs and adjusting my back brace and daytime AFOs. It’s good to get new and/or improved equipment, but sometimes can be a pain working up towards it, especially in the winter.

Thankfully, we haven’t had much snow yet. There isn’t even any on the ground right now. It’s a good thing too, as it can be rough getting outside. Recently, the temperatures have mostly stayed above freezing. I have still been trying to get outside as much as possible. Not only does it feel good to get fresh air, but Brody loves his walks!

I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas! We decorated a couple weeks ago and put a real tree upstairs and a small fake one downstairs. This year was a little different shopping wise because of COVID. Things were on sale all of November instead of just Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I ended up doing all my Christmas shopping and wrapping early. To me, it always feels good to give than receive.

Both of my Bible study groups are taking breaks until next year, which is only a few weeks away. I’ve been reading, playing games, watching movies, and talking to friends. I’m also enjoying having another niece. She’s getting so big already; even though she’s only 6 1/2 weeks old. 

Jenni

New Life and Holiday

On October 26, 2020, my sister gave birth to another healthy baby girl. She was 11 days early, 8 lbs. 8 oz., and her name is Madilyn. Her big sister Avery, now 7 years old loves to hold and play with her. I’m an excited auntie who is now proud to have 2 nieces to spoil. I have shared some pictures below.

Me holding Madilyn. I have the same picture of when Avery was a baby.

Big sister Avery holding Madilyn. My dog Brody loves babies and had to be in the photo!

Madilyn smiling; she is now one month old!

This year is going to be a little different with Thanksgiving. With COVID 19 going around, the governor of Minnesota shut down all restaurant and bars, along with limiting gatherings of 10 people or less. We usually host Thanksgiving and there’s usually at least 20 family members. Although we’re just going have my sister, her boyfriend, my nieces, my aunt Sandy, my mom and me for dinner.

It’s a little different with such a small amount of people, especially since we usually serve such a big meal on Thanksgiving. Although I’m thankful to have family around, supporting and helping me when needed. I know not everybody this year has that, especially since the pandemic.

I’ve been busy with both of the Bible study groups that I’m in. Like I stated a couple posts ago, since I started both groups, I sort of put aside my blog posts. For one of my groups we read certain verses and answer questions that go along with it. It’s thought-provoking and engaging, but between the 2, it’s a lot of reading.

Jenni

Celebrating Life with a SCI

When a person has a spinal cord injury, they may experience a mix of emotions. It’s also one of the most traumatic things they will ever face. Due to it, people may experience physical or emotional side effects. However, life after a spinal cord injury can be managed.

Some days, my mind might wander off and I feel down. In those cases, I try to keep my mind occupied and engaged by doing other activities. These include things like painting, writing, watching movies or reading. I'm usually able to keep myself composed and engaged in the present moment.

Today marks the 18th year anniversary of my accident. Since then, it has forever altered the way I go about doing things. It may be a change, but it doesn’t define who I am. I refuse to let my injury beat me. It’s important to me to have a good perspective on life. I like to be positive and optimistic about things. That means choosing to celebrate even the smallest victories.

Aside from some of the “hard times”, I know that life with a spinal cord injury is worth living. Whether someone is injured or not, life can be difficult. That is why I like to share my story with others. I believe there is a point to every single moment. I try to experience as many things as I can in the time that I am here because life is short. 

Jenni