Reflection

Reflection

It’s been a busy month. As usual, we have had some snow days in April. Some have even prevented me from going to ABLE. One day we went from 80°F to the next day of 30°F. I guess that’s Minnesota for you though. We’ve also had some flooding of rivers and lakes. Even though all the snow has melted, it’s still in the low 40s. I’m not sure what the forecast looks like over the next couple of weeks yet, but we may still get more snow.

At least when it was nice for a while, I was able to take Everett out for walks. He’s been coming in to his own this past month. He still needs lots of attention and to be taken outside on leash. I haven’t quite gotten to the point where he listens to me, but I know that will come soon enough. It took Brody a couple years and to be hooked up to my wheelchair. He is a great dog, although needs some training still. He’s going to go for a “vacation” at the trainers’ house for 4 days starting tomorrow.

I’ve been reading audiobooks one after the other to and from appointments. I’ve also been keeping busy by writing more poetry. I pasted some of my poems I recently wrote below. I put writing my book on hold for a while. The format is good, but I need to write more content and that will come in time.

Jenni

The poem below is written for a photo contest based on the one at the beginning of my blog post.

Reflection

Across the river by the golden valley

stands a tree with limbs of certainty,

all gravel roads race to picture it

sunrays arrive to highlight its arches

Shapes and patterns come and go,

embracing the grooves in its bark

leaves stretch showing their veins,

while water droplets reflect light

Curving round its extensive branches

squirrels scurry to their leafy nests

whispers of the dusk draw near

all shadows from the tree disappear

Trapped

I'm like tiny bugs

caught in a spiderweb

Mind trapped in a

body that can’t move

Taking time to heal

within this brokenness

Feelings After Survival

After crash landing in an open minefield

I’m losing the struggle to regain survival,

as shadows cross my path to take me up

waiting for the hardest hours to come

Unable to bear the demons I face,

whispers of the air pass through me

tiny voices share secrets from hidden pasts,

opening canals like passageways afar

Subtle changes behind pain and agony

realizing there’s more behind the masks,

that I put on creating false representations

immersing myself beyond recognition

Now intertwined like the roots of a tree,

sinking further down feeling grounded

connecting myself deep into the earth

anchored keeping me straight and solid

Another Update

I’m still recovering from my spiral fracture on my right leg. I have gone to the orthopedic doctor three times so far since it happened. The first appointment was an x-ray and to put my cast on, then they wanted me to return in two weeks. The second one they cut my cast off, took an x-ray and said it needed a few more weeks. So, they put another cast on and wanted me to come back in three weeks. When I did, they took my cast off and took another x-ray, and determined it hadn’t healed at all from when I first fractured it. 

They put a cast on again and told me to come back in another 3 ½ weeks. It’s been a little over a week since then, so I’m not sure what to think when the next appointment comes around. Hopefully it’s healed at least some, because the next option is to put pins in to hold it together, so it heals faster. I’m not looking forward to that, if that’s the case. I’ve been modifying ABLE avoiding exercises that use my legs.

I also have been using a lift to get me out and back in my chair instead of manual transfers. When I first started, and they told me they were going to do a manual transfer, I was scared. I’d never transferred that way before I have only used a lift. It was going good until my last two injuries on my legs (bursitis in my right knee, and the spiral fracture I’m still healing from.) Using a lift does take longer than manual transfers, although it’s a safety route.

I’m praying for no more injuries! Other than ABLE, I’ve been getting outside as much as possible. Unfortunately, Brody isn’t feeling all that great. He wasn’t eating well for a few days and wouldn’t let anyone get close to his mouth. He went into the vet to get his teeth looked at. They said he has a lot of tartar, gingivitis, a loose tooth, cracked teeth etc. So, because of his bad teeth. In September going to have surgery and have multiple teeth pulled along with a deep clean. We’ve now been soaking his food in water, and he’s been loving that.

Now when I take him out for walks, he doesn’t like to walk the whole way. When he stops going and just looks at me, I put him on my lap. He lays down and then I go as far as I want! Although, the temperature outside has been quite warm and humid lately. It’s hard to go too far and I try to stick to the shade, so I don’t get to warm. That’s one thing that’s difficult about being a quad; when it’s cold I’m cold and when it’s hot I’m hot. 

Since we are approaching August, usually temperature in Minnesota only gets warmer. My favorite time of year is fall, not just because of the weather being cooler, but the leaf color changes are nice to look at. My sister and niece, Avery have birthdays this month. I always look forward to buying things for other people, especially for holidays.

As I said before, I've been on a binge of writing poems. I write one almost every day, mostly for contests on the site: All Poetry you can check out all the poems I've written by clicking on the link before this. Although others I've just posted for people to read. I thought I would share more of what I've written within the past couple months. 

Feelings of Hope

Letting my emotions flow within my veins, 

like water seeping through cracks in wood.

Enlightening me to share my sense of calm

with others until dawn meets the horizon.

Silence echoes across open land in sight,

while my mind reaches a height of stillness.

Beneath my feet feeling single grains of sand

navigating their way through open valleys.

The wind finally rests as thoughts of healing

begin to enter the realm surrounding my being.

Change

Within a moments time, 

my body changed like a 

caterpillar transforming

into a striking butterfly.

Life throws curveballs

letting me know how much

it can push itself, until

my breaking point. For the

instances that I am lonely

are far too many to count.

There are times in my past

where I felt like giving up,

because it’s easier than dealing

with being paralyzed from the 

neck down, on a ventilator.

Like a puzzle, I just pick up

pieces of my broken body,

slowly putting them back

together. Realizing that my time

here on earth is worth living

to its fullest. Despite my troubles

where I’ve slipped and fell, the 

path to my destination is clear.

My spirit flickers a faint light,

like a candle in a slight wind.

Since my near-death experience,

I now realize that the loneliness

within my mind has dwindled.

Changing pages has given 

me a chance to gain confidence,

preserving a future to survive.

By stepping out from behind the

shadows, I grant myself permission

to share my story with others.

Breathe In

Within two decades of moments lies dangerous

thoughts of reacting to a future unknown

Emotional insides twist with anticipation as feelings

inside my paralyzed body seize on-demand

Affecting my ability to move amongst beings

as every effort beyond has a cause with no feeling

Showing loneliness upon difficult times of struggle

like being on a ship with no lifeboat aboard

In spite unimaginable living in shadows of pain

stricken underneath me like light turning to dark

I now realize my past hatred of a time troubled accident

has dissipated into the air I breathe through my vent

Reminding me of myself despite my tight grasp

binding down at this moment however looking afar

What I’ve now become although whom I will be later

surrounding happiness above distant thunder clouds

Springtime Wonders

Blue sky shows above as the rays of sun shines on my face 

feelings of glow as the wind whispers in my ear ever 

flowing through the trees as the next season appears

all around as soothing scents of lilacs, hyacinths, and daffodils

start to grow in the ground and buds began showing

it is as if the world is telling me to be silent 

while the red cardinals flyby singing to each other 

with their sweet sounds of whistles flow amongst

my shoulders become relaxed as I feel a sense of calm

through the change of seasons while white winter wonderland

begins slowly disappearing as the temperature raises 

melting the snow away beginning to showcase spring 

blades of grass poking through the old crackled dried up

dead brown leaves laying in a bed below from last fall 

all seasons showing their stories right in front of my blue eyes 

the smell of petrichor produced by wet rocks after

raindrops fizzing as they splashed down caring an aroma

fills the air which makes me sneeze because of allergies 

although the light breeze slowly floats through leading it away 

while new spotted white fawns begin to show themselves 

their mothers protecting them when strangers come near 

showing them the ways around how their life is supposed to be 

while dad with pointed racks of antlers watches for predators 

that come near as the snow-covered water frozen from 

low temperatures, starts to melt opening-up as water begins

flowing making space for green mallards and geese finding 

their mates, other animals able to drink swiftly as the sun gets higher 

opening sky as its warming the nature in every corner 

the crickets make their calling, the bees start buzzing 

the black spotted red ladybugs land on my arm tickling me

Could it be an injury again?

 Although I’ve only done about a post a month this year, pretty much every one of them has been about some sort of injury. Last Friday while at ABLE, I injured my right leg. It was during a transfer from the mat back to my wheelchair. Both therapists and I heard a “pop”. One of them thought it was just my hip, so I continued the rest of my session doing exercises in my chair.

That evening, night and next day, my leg along with knee started swelling up. It’s even more so than the effusion I had obtained over a month ago because it still hasn’t healed completely. Since I have some feeling, I could tell it was hurting along with how my body was reacting. My leg was spasming frequently and I was getting goosebumps (a sign of autonomic dysreflexia.)

I debated on whether to go to the orthopedic urgent care on Saturday, but decided against it on a weekend, since I didn’t know how long the wait time would be. We didn’t have a nurse Monday, so I went yesterday (Tuesday.) The wait time was about 1 ½ hours, which isn’t bad for an urgent care. After finally getting into a room, a doctor came in.

Based on everything that was going on, from there I went to get a couple of x-rays. When I got back into the room, he looked at them. He noticed a fracture, but thought it was from my old one of my tibia a couple years ago. Although to be sure, the Dr. had a radiologist look at it, and he determined that it was a new one. He was just going to put me in just a boot, but ultimately decided to cast it because it would be less likely to move around inside.

Even though there was an array of different colors, I chose a lighter blue (my favorite color.) The cast will be on for two weeks, then I will go back to the same place and get it taken off. That’s when they will give me a boot for the rest of the healing phase. I’m not sure how long that will be on, but I’m guessing just another couple of weeks or so.

Since starting ABLE, this is my third injury on my legs. Once this heals, I’m not certain on what my plans are going forward. I would hate to have to stop going. My favorite days have always been going there, and I’m always bummed when I can’t go. I’ve gotten so much stronger with function, strength, movement, and overall stamina. It’s been a big mood boost and raised my confidence level within myself.

I’m hoping I can go back at some point, although I don’t want any other injuries to happen. We would need to create a whole new routine, altering what I’ve been doing currently. Which would be unfortunate given what I’ve gained so far and how good it’s been for me. Once everything is healed, I will know more on what to do going forward.

Other than that, I’ve kind of put my book aside and been focusing more on writing poetry. By learning how to write proper poem styles, it’s really helped broaden my writing style. Also, I’ve learned how to “show not tell” when it comes to writing. This in turn is a great background have, particularly when writing my memoir. Despite the slight delay, it’s good to do different things, especially if it’s going to help long-term.

I have been getting outside as much as I can, but lately the weather has been hot and rainy. It’s only going get warmer within the next couple of months. Also, I’ve been going more places since COVID has died down a little. The problem is finding places to go. Since I don’t work, I mainly do stuff on my computer (which includes shopping online.)

I posted some pictures below of my fracture and cast. I’ll try to write more posts, not just updates.

You can clearly see the fracture going diagonally across the right side

Jenni

My Knee… Again

Madi and Brody

So… I injured my right knee again. This time, it’s my actual knee that is twice the size as usual. I got an x-ray Monday and saw the orthopedic surgeon earlier today. Based off the results, my primary doctor said “there are no new fractures, although there is a new moderate knee joint effusion. There is a fair amount of fluid around the knee.” He highly recommended that I go to the orthopedic urgent care yesterday to get it evaluated.

Although, since there was no fracture, just fluid, it means that I probably injured it somehow or something to that extent. I decided to make an appointment to see the orthopedic surgeon today instead of waiting all day in urgent care. It would be first come, first served basis so I wouldn’t know how long I would be waiting there. It would all depend on the other people and their injuries who came in.

I think it happened on Friday during ABLE. I’m not sure exactly; could have been during a transfer or an exercise I was doing. Even though I have limited feeling, my knee started hurting that night. That’s also when the swelling started. Also, when there is a pain somewhere within my body, it reacts by muscle spasms in that area or location.

Before I got the results from the x-ray, I thought I had fractured or broken something. I thought the size of my knee was just fluid and a little swelling. The whole weekend I was alternating between ibuprofen and Tylenol along with icing it every hour or two for 15 or 20 minutes. I googled “how to keep swelling down in knee” and this was the result it told me to do. My nurses working also said it would help.

My appointment was at 2 PM, I used transportation to get to my appointment, and I got there about ½ an hour early. I waited, and they didn’t call me to a room until 2:15 PM. My ride was set up for 3 PM and the doctor came around 10 to 3. I was worried I wouldn’t make it before that time, but it literally only took 10 minutes for the doctor to explain what happened and what to do about it.

To sum it up, he said that the fluid would simply “go away and heal itself” within 3 to 4 weeks. He also said that I could do “mild range of motion on my right leg, depending upon how it feels.” Also, according to him, “I can go back to ABLE within a week or two depending on how it’s healing.” This was all great news to me, but I wish it could’ve been over video and instead of waiting so long.

Before COVID, appointments were strictly visit only. Now a lot of them are either over the phone or video, depending. I like that I have the option to choose, for convenience of course! These days it’s a little bit harder to get out of the house for something they can easily be done at home.

Writing my book and poems is still consuming a lot of my time. I was wondering, would anybody be willing to be interviewed for it? I’m looking for prospective along with stories and dialogue. Just email me at jtic20@gmail.com.

Jenni

An Update of My Updates

Last week I went into the pain clinic to get the nerve block I talked about a couple of posts ago. They went ahead and just did the nerve block. It was a mixture of lidocaine and some other medicine. The doctor told me that if this helps with the pain, it can provide relief for up to six months or a year or not at all. It can be repeated every six months.

If it doesn’t help at all, the next step would be a procedure called a nerve ablation. It’s kind of like the nerve block, only the block just deadens the nerve endings. With an ablation of the knee “Genicular nerve ablation uses radiofrequency energy to deactivate the nerves that send the constant pain signals to your knee and surrounding structures.” 

If I do this treatment it uses no medication and is performed completely outside your knee under precise image guidance. Most people achieve relief after the first week and take full effect after 3 to 4 weeks. For many patients, it’s effective in relieving the pain. It is possible that the nerve will regrow, although the procedure can be repeated if needed.

After the did the nerve block, it stopped hurting after a day or two. So far, it’s working, and I haven’t had to wear my knee brace sentence. I’m hoping that the nerve block lasts for a long time, so I don’t have to worry about doing the nerve ablation. Although at least there’s a second option afterwards just in case.

I have still been working on my book and writing poems. I’ve been very inspired, and write something, even if it’s just a sentence or paragraph every day. I’m hoping to include most of my poems in my book for others to read. A lot of them tie in nicely with what I’m writing, although some don’t. I’m not quite sure how long it will take me to finish. I still need to fill in each chapter with more stories and feelings.

Although, my goal is to be done with writing it by the end of this year. Then I need to work on publishing and selling. I can’t wait for everyone to read it. So far, it’s one of my greatest accomplishments since my accident. The other ones are surviving, graduating high school, college, and being crowned Ms. wheelchair Minnesota 2011.

Also, since spring started, every day has been different. Between snow, rain, and sun, I’ve been able to make it outside when I get a chance. I love being outdoors; it’s better than being stuck inside not knowing what to do. Brody loves it too! I can’t believe he’s 10 now and still thriving. Despite some arthritis, he still loves his walk and rolls.

Jenni

Patchwork Quilt

In real time my life is like a homemade quilt

organized then sewn using leftover scraps carefully cut

Stitched together to tell a story of an event or moment,

that’s important; the devastating loss turned to hope

The matters in which this patchwork is created

with smaller pieces crafting a whole symbolizes

connection of voices, womanhood, and sense of history

My body prudently put back together after a

life altering car accident paralyzing my limbs

Although when stitched together with love

even the rough patches and mistakes can be warming

News about ABLE

After my appointment almost 3 weeks ago, my orthopedic doctor told me that based on the x-rays, my knee fracture is healed. Even though it still hurts, he said it’s probably from the torn meniscus that happened back in 2019. He gave me a nice knee brace to wear. If it doesn’t feel better in a few months, he wants me to repeat an MRI on it to make sure everything looks okay.

The only problem is, if it is still my torn meniscus, there is no way for it to heal unless I got surgery on it. The only reason I would get surgery is if I was using it a lot, which I’m not. Good news, I was able to get an assessment done at ABLE almost 2 weeks ago. Bad news, they filled my spot Wednesdays and Fridays. Although they were able to squeeze me in with my same person every Wednesday from 1 PM-3:30 PM.

At least one day is better than nothing at all. Plus, I’m just slowly easing back into it since I haven’t been there in at least three months. Last Wednesday was my first day back. I was able to start back right where I left off which was good. At least I didn’t have to start from the beginning. That would mean losing any of my core strength or movement that I gained previously. Although I was sore and tired after my first session back!

Hopefully I will be able to gain another day during the week, even if it’s with a different person. Even though it feels better to stick with the same people because they know the routine and the process goes smoother, I’m open to change. Years ago, and even sometimes now (depending on the situation), I wouldn’t be able to say that. Anyways, I’m happy to be back there again because I really missed it.

Now that there’s snow on the ground and it’s colder, I haven’t been getting outside as much, unless it’s to an appointment. Other than yesterday, Brody hasn’t gotten his daily walk and rolls like usual. I’ve been trying my best to do things other than just watch TV. Listening to audiobooks, writing my book, playing board games with nurses, and wrapping presents are just some examples.

Jenni

Fall Update

I will be getting my booster COVID Vaccine, and my flu shot December 1. I also contacted my doctor about getting a new set of x-rays for my left pinky and knee. I’m hoping my hand is all healed up, so I don’t have to wear the brace on it anymore. Also, it’s been a long time since I injured my knee. Last time I got an x-ray of it they told me it was no worse but no better.

I really hope it has at least gotten better because if it doesn’t heal quickly, I’m afraid I’ll lose my place at ABLE. I miss going there, getting some exercise, and making progress. Since my accident, I never thought I’d be able to do as many things as I’ve accomplished since starting the program. It’s important to me that I keep it up, especially because I felt a sense of independence and new strength since I started.

Last Sunday my power wheelchair stopped working. I couldn’t drive it, or re-position and an error code flashed across the screen that I look at to operate it. Based off the code, the company I use for equipment was able to try to figure out what was wrong with it. They thought it was the motor which would take 7 to 10 business days to order a new one plus the time to replace it and get it back to me. They took my wheelchair on Tuesday and left me with a crappy, loaner manual wheelchair.

Although they figured out within a few days that it was just a faulty wire on a control panel. The company was able to bring it back to me Thursday late afternoon. Since independence is so important to me, being without such a vital part of my life was very difficult. Because it wasn’t fitted for me, I was only able to spend roughly 2 hours in the loaner wheelchair on Wednesday morning. Thursday morning, I got up in my shower chair for an hour.

I spent the remainder of the time in bed, trying to reposition as much as possible so I didn’t get sore or uncomfortable. I realize how lucky I am to be able to move about and get out of bed every day. There was a low point in my life when I didn’t want to get out of bed for a few days, because I thought to myself “what’s the point of getting up when I’m just going to get back in bed again?” I’m glad that others intervened and got me out of that state of mind. 

It’s been five years already since I got this wheelchair. That’s the point when insurance will cover a new one, so I am in the process now of pursuing that. It took a year and ½ to get the one I have now after starting the process, so I’m guessing it will be about the same for another one. That’s why I am starting the process now.

Now that I can be in my wheelchair, I’ve been going for a walk and roll outside every day while I’m still able to. The weather is getting colder, and snow is on its way! I do take Brody out in the winter, even if there’s snow outside although only if the streets are clear. Hoping to go more places soon other than just the doctor’s office; it’s just difficult if there are a lot of people around. Maybe the mall is the best place because I can stay away from others.

Even though Christmas is 1 ½ months away, I’ve already been looking for gifts online. I prefer to shop online more than the stores because I can find what I’m looking for easier. The best time for me to order things is on Cyber Monday. Although you never really know how good it is unless you look at prices beforehand! I think Black Friday, especially for someone like me, is crazy. People wait in line for hours to try to get the best “deals” and fight over others. Also, you never really know how safe it is since COVID still exists.

I’m still plugging away at my book. Since starting to write it myself, I think it’s best this way instead of having a ghostwriter. I have found a groove and style of writing that I want it in. Hopefully I will be finished writing by next year and then I can find an editor to help me. It depends on how fast and how much time I invest into it. I believe I already written almost 10 chapters, but don’t know how long the book will be yet.

Jenni

Update

Things have been going great at ABLE. After only seven weeks of intense working out twice a week, I now can sit on the side of the mat unassisted and move myself side to side and back-and-forth (almost like a sit up, only not while laying down). Also, if someone pulls my right arm forward on my armrest, I can pull it back by myself. These are all new things that I couldn’t do before ABLE. I’m very excited with my progress along with newly gained strength and can’t wait to see I can do from here on out. I posted some videos below.

Since being in the hospital to try to find the source of my edema, I’ve lost over 20 pounds of fluid. I guess they were right about my seizure medication being the source of my water weight gain. I feel so much better, and people have been noticing a significant difference as well. There is more fluid that I could lose over time, and I believe ABLE will help with that.

At the beginning of this month, I went to the orthopedic surgeon to get both of my legs checked out. Since I injured my left knee in the middle of 2018, it healed up for about a year after wearing a knee brace but has been bothering me for the past year. At the beginning of 2019, I fractured my tibia on my right leg. A couple weeks ago while doing ABLE, I believe I reinjured my right leg somehow. I’m not sure which part is injured I just know that something is not right about it because my leg spasms and was bruised. It also won’t straighten out.

After getting to my appointment, I had to wait 50 minutes to see the doctor. I talked to him for roughly 15 minutes for him to tell me that in order to see what’s wrong, that I would have to get an MRI and x-rays on both legs. Exactly what I thought before going to my appointment. Then I waited 45 more minutes for my transportation driver to come bring me home. I thought it was a waste of time, but then again, he had to check it out in order to make his decision.

The soonest I could get an MRI was 19 August. I have a follow-up video appointment with the orthopedic surgeon the second week of September. I’ll post an update after I get the results and whatever action he wants to take going forward. I also have an appointment with my pulmonologist at the end of this month. It’s just one of the yearly visits I need, just like a checkup. I usually have them for most of my doctors, either yearly or every other year. I have so many doctors for every need that I can’t even count them.

My family has been doing good. My sister’s birthday is August 11 and oldest niece’s birthday is August 16; she will be eight years old. My other niece will be 1 years old in October. Oh, how quickly they age! Other family birthdays will be coming up in October as well, including mine. Also, I have been getting outside and taking Brody for walks as much as possible. Although the temperature these past couple of months have been in the 80s and 90s with high humidity, which makes it a little and comfortable.

Avery and Madilyn beginning of July

That’s all for this month’s updates. I will update more next month as things progress.

Jenni

What's Been Keeping me Busy?

Lately I’ve been busy with the ABLE program at Courage Kenny. It’s going great so far, and I am learning a whole new way of exercising when I’m unable to move. It has been challenging and exhausting, but beneficial to my health and healing. I spend 2 ½ hours, twice a week doing a nonstop workout, which includes transfers from the bike, the mat and to my chair. This doesn’t include drivetime there and back. I’m grateful that I started and can’t wait to see what results may come of it. I know one thing for sure is that I have already gained an improvement in strength, and I’ve only gone five times so far.

Aside from this, I have been getting outside when the weather is tolerable. It’s been hot and humid here, which makes it difficult to take Brody for a walk and roll. I try to stick to the shade as much as possible so that the pavement isn’t hot on his paws and the sun isn’t hot on me. Not only is it much cooler he seems to enjoy his walk more without overheating. When the weather is like this, I need to take him in to get his haircut more often.

Along with exercising and getting outside, I’ve been having Dr. appointments and going shopping at the mall. Now that restrictions on masks in public have been lifted, I have felt more comfortable getting out in the public. Although they are still required in clinics, including Courage Kenny, it feels good to not have to wear them all the time. Since I didn’t go out too often in the last year and ½, I’m not used to the masks as much as other people. I’m still a little skeptical of other people, because lifting the restrictions may give even those who haven’t been vaccinated an excuse to not wear a mask.

When I am inside, I’ve been playing games, painting, watching movies and going on my computer etc. To pass the time by, I like to play games with my nurses. Depending on which nurse works, depends on which game I decide to play. I don’t watch movies all that often, but when I do, I usually pick out ones that are most popular. Between my sister and I, we have Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Disney plus, Discovery plus and cable. Also, because of lack of movement, I don’t check my phone as much as others, except texting and phone calls. I use my computer for emails, writing blog posts and other things.

I’ve also been spending time with my sister and two nieces. I enjoy watching them grow up and spoiling them at the same time. Since I don’t have kids of my own to spend money on, I end up buying things for them. This includes clothes, toys and other things they may need or want. Avery will be eight in August and Madilyn will be one in October. I usually see them one or two times a week and is always a highlight.

Jenni

New Life and Holiday

On October 26, 2020, my sister gave birth to another healthy baby girl. She was 11 days early, 8 lbs. 8 oz., and her name is Madilyn. Her big sister Avery, now 7 years old loves to hold and play with her. I’m an excited auntie who is now proud to have 2 nieces to spoil. I have shared some pictures below.

Me holding Madilyn. I have the same picture of when Avery was a baby.

Big sister Avery holding Madilyn. My dog Brody loves babies and had to be in the photo!

Madilyn smiling; she is now one month old!

This year is going to be a little different with Thanksgiving. With COVID 19 going around, the governor of Minnesota shut down all restaurant and bars, along with limiting gatherings of 10 people or less. We usually host Thanksgiving and there’s usually at least 20 family members. Although we’re just going have my sister, her boyfriend, my nieces, my aunt Sandy, my mom and me for dinner.

It’s a little different with such a small amount of people, especially since we usually serve such a big meal on Thanksgiving. Although I’m thankful to have family around, supporting and helping me when needed. I know not everybody this year has that, especially since the pandemic.

I’ve been busy with both of the Bible study groups that I’m in. Like I stated a couple posts ago, since I started both groups, I sort of put aside my blog posts. For one of my groups we read certain verses and answer questions that go along with it. It’s thought-provoking and engaging, but between the 2, it’s a lot of reading.

Jenni

Update on Me

The past few weeks have gone by fast. Back in July, I talked about how I joined a Bible study group that meets once a week. Since starting, I have really enjoyed reading the Bible. Every story has a meaning, and it can be applied to life in different ways. I decided to join another group that also meets once a week but on another day.

This one is different in which instead of reading the Bible in a year, we are just studying the book of Genesis and it only goes until December. It is also more involved. There are lectures to watch, notes to read, and questions to answer along with the reading. I like both group studies, as they keep me busy. Probably the reason why I haven’t written a blog post for a while.

I have still been trying to get out every day, walking Brody. It’s been really nice outside, with temperatures in the 60s and 70s. It even got to 80° the other day. I’ve been enjoying the fresh air and change of scenery from my house. All the trees are starting to turn orange and red now that it’s fall. Pretty soon winter will be here and with all the snow it’s hard to go out. Not to mention when the temperatures drop below freezing.

Fall Colors in Minnesota

Brody and I on a Walk and Roll

Since quarantine started in March, I have only left my house a hand full of times. Because I am on a ventilator, I’m at such a high risk if I get the coronavirus. That’s why I’m so cautious about being around other people and going to places that may be overcrowded. I suppose I could go to a park or movie where I could social distance myself from others. I do have a couple of doctor’s appointments coming up in October and November so I will be going out, but it’s nothing like doing something for fun.

I have still been in a lot of neck pain. When visiting my neurosurgeon last month, I got an x-ray of my neck to see if everything looks okay. He also wanted to see if there was anything bone related that could be causing my pain. But when he looked at it, he didn’t find anything. In fact, he stated that the plate that he put in when I had surgery to remove a bone spur in my neck was holding stronger than he initially thought it would. I would’ve had to have another surgery to do a bigger fusion if it wasn’t. He said that my pain was probably just due to strain leading to tight muscles, especially because I can only move from my neck up.

Also, I’ve still been having trouble sleeping and with edema. My sleep doctor doesn’t want to give me anymore medications for sleep because I’m already taking a lot. I did get a prescription from my primary doctor for anxiety, which has helped a little bit with sleep. That’s one thing that keeps me up at night. He also referred me to a specialist within the University of Minnesota Fairview offices that can take another look at why I might be retaining fluids. I had a phone call with a doctor and he’s going to look over every test I’ve done and every medication that I am on to see if he can figure it out.

Other things that have been keeping me busy are playing games, watching movies, and painting. Yesterday I painted an abstract picture with lots of colors on it in which I posted below. I also shared a few pictures of Brody. He is quite the favorite around the house!

Avery and Brody

Brody on My Bed

Brody Sleeping on his Toy

Abstract Rainbow Painting

Jenni

Postop Update

Just wanted to give a quick update. My surgery on Monday was a success. I only had to spend one night in the hospital and was able to go home yesterday around 3 PM. Since I don’t have complete feeling, I am not sure about exact feeling of pain. Although I’m able to go off on how my body reacts and the little feeling I do have.

I can tell my back is sore and have had more muscle spasms which for me can be an indication of pain. I’ve been taking Tylenol at home, but they did give me oxycodone as well. I’m not one for taking narcotics unless I really need to, so I haven’t yet. For now, I am going to lay low and just relax for the next few days or so.

Jenni

Upcoming Surgery

During my last update, I shared that I’m going to be having surgery to replace my baclofen pump on Monday, January 27. The battery lasts about 5 years and then it needs to be switched out. Although the last it was changed was in 2013, 7 years ago. This will be my 4^th baclofen pump. I’m hoping there aren’t any complications, and then I’ll only have to stay one night in the hospital.

My physical with my doctor last month all checked out to be normal. I had an appointment yesterday to do an x-ray of my baclofen pump. They want to be sure they know where everything is placed before doing surgery. It was a pain to get the x-ray done though. I went to a clinic instead of the hospital so instead of a ceiling lift they just had a hoyer lift to get me onto the x-ray table.
 

There were only two technicians helping along with my nurse. They had to call a third person in order to transfer me completely there and back. It probably took twice as long as it should have. I’m glad that my nurse was at least there to help. My tubes for my wheelchair vent are only 6 feet long and didn’t reach while I was transferring so she had to take me off my vent and bag me.
 

Hopefully I won’t have to go through that ordeal anytime soon. I’ll update everyone after my surgery to let you know how it went.

Jenni

Knee Updates

A few weeks ago, I mentioned the pressure sore under my left knee. After seeing the wound Doctor, she recommended cleaning it 3 days a week with normal saline. Then putting an ointment called medihoney on it followed by a dressing called mepilex. The medihoney has been shown to effectively promote autolytic debridement and wound healing in chronic and acute wounds.

After doing it for a couple of weeks, the sore reduced in size and I saw her for a follow-up appointment last week. She told me that it was looking much better and healing better-than-expected. She recommended to keep cleaning it and putting the dressing on but that I didn’t need to use the ointment anymore. I’m going to see her one more time next week.

Last year in July, I reported that I injured my left knee 3 months prior. Originally my orthopedic Doctor thought that I had a torn MCL, although since he couldn’t find anything wrong on the MRI, he then came up with a diagnosis of a bruised bone. For me, this made it even more difficult because bone bruises take a lot longer to heal and nothing surgically can be done to fix it. Despite the prognosis, it’s slowly getting better with time.

Another negative to this situation is that I still haven’t been able to stand; one thing that helps shift the fluid in my body. Even though it’s good for my body, I wouldn’t want to reinjure my knee. For now, it’s best that I stay off it until it fully heals even though I’m not sure when or how long that will take.

Jenni

Follow-Up Post

I want to say I appreciate the comments I received from my last post about searching for feedback. It helped me realize that my blog helps more people than I knew. Also, I don’t always have to hear feedback to know people are reading what I have to say. Just the fact that I’m sharing my story, even if it affects only one person, is very satisfying.

This past month has gone by so fast. I’ve still been doing very well as far as my health. Last month I talked about how my right knee is healed although I’m still having left knee pain. The first time I had an MRI on it, there were signs of a torn MCL. After seeing the orthopedic doctor, he wanted me to get some images to see how it was healing. The injury hasn’t healed any more. He also found that I have some muscle atrophy and my kneecap is slipping out of socket. He recommended a different knee brace than I was using, and it’s been helping with pain.  
 
August 11 was my sisters 30^th birthday and August 16 was my niece Avery’s 6-year-old birthday. Avery had a birthday party this past weekend at an interactive indoor play area. The next day we celebrated both of their birthdays together.

Over the past couple of weeks my dog Brody was acting different. He wasn’t wanting to eat at times, go outside for walks, and looking a little down. We took him to the vet, but they didn’t find anything physically wrong. They prescribed him with some antibiotics, pain pills, and stronger allergy pills than he was on before. Over the past couple days, I’ve noticed he’s been feeling better. I’m glad that it wasn’t anything serious.

Jenni

Update to My Update

Unfortunately a couple days after my last blog post, I started showing signs of another respiratory infection. Based off cultured test results, they put me on a 10 day course of Cipro, a broad spectrum antibiotic that I’ve used before for respiratory and also bladder infections. Since I was suctioning so often and my infection was getting worse, they also decided to do an outpatient bronchoscope on February 14. The doctor also took another sample while doing the procedure.

Based off the results, it showed that my infection was resistant to the Cipro I was taking so on the 26 I went to the hospital to get a PICC line placed. My nurses are trained to administer the IV antibiotics at my house. I wish I could figure out what’s causing my back to back respiratory infections. I know that comes with being trach and vented, but I never used to get them like this before. It’s been just after 2 days of medications and I am starting to feel a little better.

The day before I got my PICC line placed, I went to the orthopedic doctor, exactly 4 weeks since I saw him last. I got a follow-up x-ray done on my right knee. He told me that it’s starting to heal on its own and wants to see me in another 3 weeks to check the progress again. Based on the results shown he said that it will probably be about 3 more months before I’m able to stand again. As far as my torn MCL on my left knee, that will just take more time to heal. Interestingly enough I still have pain on the inside of my knee.

Jenni

Update

Still no word on my tongue touch. Hopefully by next week I will be up and running again. At least my nurses aren't bad drivers, otherwise I would be stuck.

The other day I had an appointment with the urologist. I have to see him annually for a checkup. I've had bladder stones in the past, so they needed to make sure that I didn't develop another one. A couple of weeks ago they did an ultrasound on my bladder and kidneys to see. When I saw the doctor, he said everything was clear. That was a relief. I didn't want to have to go through another surgery.

I've been pretty laid back today. Just watching TV, reading, sleeping, going on my computer, and now about to play the game Scrabble. Sometimes we all have to have days like this to give our body and mind a break from all the crazy things going on in life. It definitely works for me.

Jenni