Stress Journal-#68

For my stress management class we have to pick 20 journals to write over the course of the semester. We had to buy a stress journal that has different prompts, questions and scenarios for us to write about. Here is one of the journals I chose and my response.

#68-A Traumatic Experience

"Into our lives a little rain must fall, but it seems that once or twice it becomes a devastating flood, and we subsequently get pulled under and washed away in the currents. Broken bones, the death of a close friend or loved one, and child abuse are just a handful of life's many tragedies. "Tragedy," it is said, "keeps a person humble." It can also leave physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual scars that may take a lifetime to heal. Times like these are often referred to as "the dark nights of the soul."

Reaction may vary, but immediately after experiencing a tragedy, people sometimes talk nervously. This is one of the initial manifestations of grief. This stage is often followed by withdrawal and eventually by a slow reemergence into society. These types of experiences from years ago can affect our outlook and behavior on several issues, often without our knowledge. If you have been spared a personal tragedy, consider yourself lucky. If you have experienced an event of this nature and wish to recount it here, feel free to do so. How did you feel, and how do you feel now?"

Eight and half years ago I was in a tragic car accident. I broke my neck and injured my spinal cord, leaving me paralyzed and vent dependent. In the beginning, it was extremely hard for me to deal with the fact that I'm probably going to be paralyzed for the rest of my life. I kept thinking "how could this happen, why me, what do I do now?" As time went on it got a little bit easier to accept, although I was still in a state of shock. I believe my feelings back then were normal.

I don't think I've ever really been able to grieve about my losses. If I start to think about it, somehow it always seems to get pushed back down in my head. You know how some people are able to just let it all out when a family member dies or something tragic happens. Well, that's really hard for me to do; showing my emotions means being vulnerable, and for some reason I can't do it very often. Which I know isn't really good for you because it's better if one can share their feelings and talk about them. That's one of the core ways people do grieve.

My accident has definitely changed my outlook on life. I feel very fortunate to be alive and don't take anything for granted. I value my life and my things more and try to do good for others. It seems that my accident has had a profound effect on me, good and bad. Yes, it has left emotional and physical scars on me. I am reminded every day of the tragedy that happened when I look at myself. However, I believe I'm a better person today because of it and have learned a lot over the past years. I've also met some wonderful and amazing people with whom I never would've met if this hadn't happened to me. Overall, although there have been some bumps in the road and challenges to overcome, I am still here and trying and that's all that matters.

Jenni