Yeah, It's Hard

I have trouble sometimes dealing with this whole situation. There are times where all I do is direct and tell people what to do. In fact that's my life. I didn't sign up to be a manager of others starting at 16 years old. Sometimes trying my best doesn't seem good enough to me. I think I'm my own worst critic.

You know how there are those days when you wake up in the morning and you just don't feel like getting out of bed. Maybe you have a long day ahead of you, or your tired, maybe you're being lazy, or you stayed up late the night before, or maybe you just don't want to face the day. Whatever the case may be, the sheer determination just isn't there.

It's very difficult for someone like me to choose to get out of bed every morning. If I wanted to, I could just say the heck with it. Why get out of bed into my wheelchair, wheel out into the other room, and do the same things that I could have done sitting in bed in my room? It doesn't always seem worth it. Especially now that the wheelchair I'm in is extremely uncomfortable. It takes a lot for me to say yes when my nurse asks me if I'm ready to get up.

One thing I think about is the fact that there are many people who can't get out of bed, who don't have that choice. This is something that motivates me to say yes; I would definitely struggle more with not having the option of getting up at all. No matter how challenging my situation is, I still manage to live every day to the fullest.

Jenni