Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Creative Writings

I wrote this for my creative writing class. We had to write a paragraph about a thrilling or anguishing incident either from our childhood or adolescence. I chose to write about the time I woke up in the hospital after my accident. I used all five of my senses and similes and metaphors to describe the experience. I don't really remember the moment that I woke up, a lot of it is from what I've been told and what I have imagined.

My eyes opened to the sound of beeping alarms and glaring lights. Still drowsy from all of the sedatives, I struggled to figure out where I was and what I was doing there. My thoughts thickened like fog as I looked around, imagining the worst. I felt alone like a lost child in a crowd of thousands of strangers. The room was stale. It was breathing with people; rushing to get to their destination. I heard crying from behind the curtain to the left of me. I saw a flash of color brush past the end of the bed I was laying in going towards the cry.

After learning from my family that I was in the intensive care unit, and that something serious had happened to me, chills fell over me. I was in severe shock! I tried to talk but no words came out. My mouth was as dry as cotton and I could taste the plastic from the tube going down my throat into my lungs. I tried to sit up but my body wouldn't allow me to. I was paralyzed. I had broken my neck and injured my spinal cord in a car accident.

The next writing is a poem that I wrote. We had to describe a relationship we had with either an animal or a machine in a paragraph or poem. I chose to write a poem about my vent since our relationship is inseparable.

My Lifeline

My lungs are expanding, in out, in out
I feel my chest rise and fall
I am one with the vent
It's breathing for me
The sound is like an airplane flying ahead
Colored lights flash across the surface
Attached to me always
It flows through me like wind through trees

Can you tell I love to write? I will share more as time goes on. Let me know what you think. I'm always looking for feedback and constructive criticism.

Jenni

3 comments:

quekjl86 said...

wow.. it is really a good poem and story

jialiang

Steph said...

beautiful my dear, simply beautiful :)

Anonymous said...

Very powerful writing. I always enjoy reading your posts. Take care.