Off the Grid

I was trying to figure out the reason why it was so difficult for me to write a blog post these last couple of months. I kept saying to myself that I’ve been really busy with school and homework. However, I can’t really say that anymore since I am done with classes at Normandale and moving on to St. Thomas in a month. I was in this cycle of starting new blog posts about things that were going on but never finished them.

I get hundreds of page views a day on my blog from people all over the world. Some people have found a link to my blog on another webpage. Some know my blog address by heart and just type it in to the address bar. Some have the address in their favorites menu. Many type something they’re looking for into a search page and then randomly click on a link to my blog, realize it’s not what they want, and instantly click the back button. However, there are those few that do the latter and instead of clicking the back button may end up getting sucked in to my story and thoughts and spend hours reading all of my past blog posts. Some people get inspired or have a similar story in which they comment or contact me.

I’ve met a lot of people through my blog, many that I can call friends and talk to on a regular basis. I’ve also helped people in different ways through the things I write about and what I share. Many people look forward to reading what I have to say and even check it every day to see if I’ve made a post. Knowing all of this, knowing how much I inspire others, knowing that people are out there waiting for me to make a post so they can relate to it or learn from it or be inspired by it or share it with their friends and family, was making me wonder why it has been so difficult for me to write a blog post.

 

To be honest sometimes I would feel obligated to write a post, even though I love writing all together. Whether it is about me or others it should never feel like a "chore" to do. Then sometimes I would get bothered by my feelings (which I shouldn’t be). I know I should just let my emotions free, but it’s hard to do being that it makes me so much more vulnerable than I already am.

I’ve developed my writing tremendously over the past few years. I used to dread writing classes in high school. Probably because we had to write research papers and book reports involving pages and pages of never-ending quotes from different sources. Now things are different because I can write about whatever I want; nonfiction is my favorite. I’ve thought about writing for magazines or having a column in the newspaper. That’s the reason I chose the University of St. Thomas to go to because I’ll be majoring in communications and journalism. The job spectrum for this degree is very widespread.

To some it all up, I’m not going to let it bother me whether or not I’m able to write a blog post. I’m just going to keep producing as they come. I may have moments of increased posts and I may have times where I seem to be off the grid. Whichever it may be, always remember that although one of the reasons I blog is to help myself be able to vent my emotions I always have my readers in mind.

Jenni

"View your emotions in a non-ordinary way: as vehicles for transformation rather than simply as feelings that make you happy or miserable. Expect them to test your heart; that’s the point. What you go through-what we all go through-has a greater purpose. Always, the imperative of emotional freedom is for the love in us to evolve."
-Judith Orloff