Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Feelings Written, Feelings Heard

Sometimes I find myself drifting away, staring at the wall, thinking of things that I know I have no control over and that I cannot change. It's difficult to be in a situation where you're so vulnerable to others and in which your privacy is gone; where the only place that feels safe and comfortable is inside yourself. At times I feel like letting go and giving up everything to the unbearable grasp that is holding me down. Then again I have to remind myself that things happen for a reason and that you either live life or leave it. I choose to live and that is what keeps me together. My struggle with the feelings I have cannot continue to bind me anymore than it already has. I want to be as strong as possible and not look back because doing so puts me at a crossroad in which I do not know where to turn. It pains me to feel this way and to let others know the side that hurts most; the side that may need help; the side that struggles to keep it together. These feelings are not often shared even to the closest of people in my life. Why I choose to write them now will never be known even by me. I know that I will find peace. I'm a very strong person and I also know that I'm helping others just by being me. I'm only human and I hope that these words only bring you closer to understanding some of the things I go through. The quote below has helped me tremendously to deal with the overflow of emotions that creep up from time to time. I hope it resonates with you.

Jenni

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greatest achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
-Christian D. Larson

4 comments:

colleen said...

I get it. Oh and that is a great quote. Thanks for sharing your feelings! You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you feel. I wanted to give up so many times but you have encourage me all these while. So you must not give up too :) jialiang

Heather (Paralyzed with JOY!) said...

I really like the quote you shared, and I think I might use it on my blog sometime. Here's one of my favorite quotes that always lifts me up:

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father… in heaven." Orson F. Whitney

Anonymous said...

I don't think any of us can truly understand what it must be like to live in your shoes, but I appreciate that you have given us a glimpse. Thank you. God has a plan for all of us. It will be interesting to see what he has planned for you in the coming years. I have a feeling will be something very special! We all love you and pray for you often. God Bless.