SCI Video

"It's here! The Morton Cure Paralysis Fund is happy to present Spinal Cast, Episode 1 featuring Dr. Ann Parr discussing the amazing spinal cord injury research taking place in her lab. Click below to watch it on YouTube or search for Spinal Cast on your favorite podcast platform."

YouTube video

I received this in an email from The Morton Cure Paralysis. It's very interesting how they talk about Spinal Cord Injury patients, research, and implantation of the device. It's about 20 minutes long, but is worth listening to.

Jenni

Another Update

I’m still recovering from my spiral fracture on my right leg. I have gone to the orthopedic doctor three times so far since it happened. The first appointment was an x-ray and to put my cast on, then they wanted me to return in two weeks. The second one they cut my cast off, took an x-ray and said it needed a few more weeks. So, they put another cast on and wanted me to come back in three weeks. When I did, they took my cast off and took another x-ray, and determined it hadn’t healed at all from when I first fractured it. 

They put a cast on again and told me to come back in another 3 ½ weeks. It’s been a little over a week since then, so I’m not sure what to think when the next appointment comes around. Hopefully it’s healed at least some, because the next option is to put pins in to hold it together, so it heals faster. I’m not looking forward to that, if that’s the case. I’ve been modifying ABLE avoiding exercises that use my legs.

I also have been using a lift to get me out and back in my chair instead of manual transfers. When I first started, and they told me they were going to do a manual transfer, I was scared. I’d never transferred that way before I have only used a lift. It was going good until my last two injuries on my legs (bursitis in my right knee, and the spiral fracture I’m still healing from.) Using a lift does take longer than manual transfers, although it’s a safety route.

I’m praying for no more injuries! Other than ABLE, I’ve been getting outside as much as possible. Unfortunately, Brody isn’t feeling all that great. He wasn’t eating well for a few days and wouldn’t let anyone get close to his mouth. He went into the vet to get his teeth looked at. They said he has a lot of tartar, gingivitis, a loose tooth, cracked teeth etc. So, because of his bad teeth. In September going to have surgery and have multiple teeth pulled along with a deep clean. We’ve now been soaking his food in water, and he’s been loving that.

Now when I take him out for walks, he doesn’t like to walk the whole way. When he stops going and just looks at me, I put him on my lap. He lays down and then I go as far as I want! Although, the temperature outside has been quite warm and humid lately. It’s hard to go too far and I try to stick to the shade, so I don’t get to warm. That’s one thing that’s difficult about being a quad; when it’s cold I’m cold and when it’s hot I’m hot. 

Since we are approaching August, usually temperature in Minnesota only gets warmer. My favorite time of year is fall, not just because of the weather being cooler, but the leaf color changes are nice to look at. My sister and niece, Avery have birthdays this month. I always look forward to buying things for other people, especially for holidays.

As I said before, I've been on a binge of writing poems. I write one almost every day, mostly for contests on the site: All Poetry you can check out all the poems I've written by clicking on the link before this. Although others I've just posted for people to read. I thought I would share more of what I've written within the past couple months. 

Feelings of Hope

Letting my emotions flow within my veins, 

like water seeping through cracks in wood.

Enlightening me to share my sense of calm

with others until dawn meets the horizon.

Silence echoes across open land in sight,

while my mind reaches a height of stillness.

Beneath my feet feeling single grains of sand

navigating their way through open valleys.

The wind finally rests as thoughts of healing

begin to enter the realm surrounding my being.

Change

Within a moments time, 

my body changed like a 

caterpillar transforming

into a striking butterfly.

Life throws curveballs

letting me know how much

it can push itself, until

my breaking point. For the

instances that I am lonely

are far too many to count.

There are times in my past

where I felt like giving up,

because it’s easier than dealing

with being paralyzed from the 

neck down, on a ventilator.

Like a puzzle, I just pick up

pieces of my broken body,

slowly putting them back

together. Realizing that my time

here on earth is worth living

to its fullest. Despite my troubles

where I’ve slipped and fell, the 

path to my destination is clear.

My spirit flickers a faint light,

like a candle in a slight wind.

Since my near-death experience,

I now realize that the loneliness

within my mind has dwindled.

Changing pages has given 

me a chance to gain confidence,

preserving a future to survive.

By stepping out from behind the

shadows, I grant myself permission

to share my story with others.

Breathe In

Within two decades of moments lies dangerous

thoughts of reacting to a future unknown

Emotional insides twist with anticipation as feelings

inside my paralyzed body seize on-demand

Affecting my ability to move amongst beings

as every effort beyond has a cause with no feeling

Showing loneliness upon difficult times of struggle

like being on a ship with no lifeboat aboard

In spite unimaginable living in shadows of pain

stricken underneath me like light turning to dark

I now realize my past hatred of a time troubled accident

has dissipated into the air I breathe through my vent

Reminding me of myself despite my tight grasp

binding down at this moment however looking afar

What I’ve now become although whom I will be later

surrounding happiness above distant thunder clouds

Springtime Wonders

Blue sky shows above as the rays of sun shines on my face 

feelings of glow as the wind whispers in my ear ever 

flowing through the trees as the next season appears

all around as soothing scents of lilacs, hyacinths, and daffodils

start to grow in the ground and buds began showing

it is as if the world is telling me to be silent 

while the red cardinals flyby singing to each other 

with their sweet sounds of whistles flow amongst

my shoulders become relaxed as I feel a sense of calm

through the change of seasons while white winter wonderland

begins slowly disappearing as the temperature raises 

melting the snow away beginning to showcase spring 

blades of grass poking through the old crackled dried up

dead brown leaves laying in a bed below from last fall 

all seasons showing their stories right in front of my blue eyes 

the smell of petrichor produced by wet rocks after

raindrops fizzing as they splashed down caring an aroma

fills the air which makes me sneeze because of allergies 

although the light breeze slowly floats through leading it away 

while new spotted white fawns begin to show themselves 

their mothers protecting them when strangers come near 

showing them the ways around how their life is supposed to be 

while dad with pointed racks of antlers watches for predators 

that come near as the snow-covered water frozen from 

low temperatures, starts to melt opening-up as water begins

flowing making space for green mallards and geese finding 

their mates, other animals able to drink swiftly as the sun gets higher 

opening sky as its warming the nature in every corner 

the crickets make their calling, the bees start buzzing 

the black spotted red ladybugs land on my arm tickling me

Could it be an injury again?

 Although I’ve only done about a post a month this year, pretty much every one of them has been about some sort of injury. Last Friday while at ABLE, I injured my right leg. It was during a transfer from the mat back to my wheelchair. Both therapists and I heard a “pop”. One of them thought it was just my hip, so I continued the rest of my session doing exercises in my chair.

That evening, night and next day, my leg along with knee started swelling up. It’s even more so than the effusion I had obtained over a month ago because it still hasn’t healed completely. Since I have some feeling, I could tell it was hurting along with how my body was reacting. My leg was spasming frequently and I was getting goosebumps (a sign of autonomic dysreflexia.)

I debated on whether to go to the orthopedic urgent care on Saturday, but decided against it on a weekend, since I didn’t know how long the wait time would be. We didn’t have a nurse Monday, so I went yesterday (Tuesday.) The wait time was about 1 ½ hours, which isn’t bad for an urgent care. After finally getting into a room, a doctor came in.

Based on everything that was going on, from there I went to get a couple of x-rays. When I got back into the room, he looked at them. He noticed a fracture, but thought it was from my old one of my tibia a couple years ago. Although to be sure, the Dr. had a radiologist look at it, and he determined that it was a new one. He was just going to put me in just a boot, but ultimately decided to cast it because it would be less likely to move around inside.

Even though there was an array of different colors, I chose a lighter blue (my favorite color.) The cast will be on for two weeks, then I will go back to the same place and get it taken off. That’s when they will give me a boot for the rest of the healing phase. I’m not sure how long that will be on, but I’m guessing just another couple of weeks or so.

Since starting ABLE, this is my third injury on my legs. Once this heals, I’m not certain on what my plans are going forward. I would hate to have to stop going. My favorite days have always been going there, and I’m always bummed when I can’t go. I’ve gotten so much stronger with function, strength, movement, and overall stamina. It’s been a big mood boost and raised my confidence level within myself.

I’m hoping I can go back at some point, although I don’t want any other injuries to happen. We would need to create a whole new routine, altering what I’ve been doing currently. Which would be unfortunate given what I’ve gained so far and how good it’s been for me. Once everything is healed, I will know more on what to do going forward.

Other than that, I’ve kind of put my book aside and been focusing more on writing poetry. By learning how to write proper poem styles, it’s really helped broaden my writing style. Also, I’ve learned how to “show not tell” when it comes to writing. This in turn is a great background have, particularly when writing my memoir. Despite the slight delay, it’s good to do different things, especially if it’s going to help long-term.

I have been getting outside as much as I can, but lately the weather has been hot and rainy. It’s only going get warmer within the next couple of months. Also, I’ve been going more places since COVID has died down a little. The problem is finding places to go. Since I don’t work, I mainly do stuff on my computer (which includes shopping online.)

I posted some pictures below of my fracture and cast. I’ll try to write more posts, not just updates.

You can clearly see the fracture going diagonally across the right side

Jenni

My Knee… Again

Madi and Brody

So… I injured my right knee again. This time, it’s my actual knee that is twice the size as usual. I got an x-ray Monday and saw the orthopedic surgeon earlier today. Based off the results, my primary doctor said “there are no new fractures, although there is a new moderate knee joint effusion. There is a fair amount of fluid around the knee.” He highly recommended that I go to the orthopedic urgent care yesterday to get it evaluated.

Although, since there was no fracture, just fluid, it means that I probably injured it somehow or something to that extent. I decided to make an appointment to see the orthopedic surgeon today instead of waiting all day in urgent care. It would be first come, first served basis so I wouldn’t know how long I would be waiting there. It would all depend on the other people and their injuries who came in.

I think it happened on Friday during ABLE. I’m not sure exactly; could have been during a transfer or an exercise I was doing. Even though I have limited feeling, my knee started hurting that night. That’s also when the swelling started. Also, when there is a pain somewhere within my body, it reacts by muscle spasms in that area or location.

Before I got the results from the x-ray, I thought I had fractured or broken something. I thought the size of my knee was just fluid and a little swelling. The whole weekend I was alternating between ibuprofen and Tylenol along with icing it every hour or two for 15 or 20 minutes. I googled “how to keep swelling down in knee” and this was the result it told me to do. My nurses working also said it would help.

My appointment was at 2 PM, I used transportation to get to my appointment, and I got there about ½ an hour early. I waited, and they didn’t call me to a room until 2:15 PM. My ride was set up for 3 PM and the doctor came around 10 to 3. I was worried I wouldn’t make it before that time, but it literally only took 10 minutes for the doctor to explain what happened and what to do about it.

To sum it up, he said that the fluid would simply “go away and heal itself” within 3 to 4 weeks. He also said that I could do “mild range of motion on my right leg, depending upon how it feels.” Also, according to him, “I can go back to ABLE within a week or two depending on how it’s healing.” This was all great news to me, but I wish it could’ve been over video and instead of waiting so long.

Before COVID, appointments were strictly visit only. Now a lot of them are either over the phone or video, depending. I like that I have the option to choose, for convenience of course! These days it’s a little bit harder to get out of the house for something they can easily be done at home.

Writing my book and poems is still consuming a lot of my time. I was wondering, would anybody be willing to be interviewed for it? I’m looking for prospective along with stories and dialogue. Just email me at jtic20@gmail.com.

Jenni

An Update of My Updates

Last week I went into the pain clinic to get the nerve block I talked about a couple of posts ago. They went ahead and just did the nerve block. It was a mixture of lidocaine and some other medicine. The doctor told me that if this helps with the pain, it can provide relief for up to six months or a year or not at all. It can be repeated every six months.

If it doesn’t help at all, the next step would be a procedure called a nerve ablation. It’s kind of like the nerve block, only the block just deadens the nerve endings. With an ablation of the knee “Genicular nerve ablation uses radiofrequency energy to deactivate the nerves that send the constant pain signals to your knee and surrounding structures.” 

If I do this treatment it uses no medication and is performed completely outside your knee under precise image guidance. Most people achieve relief after the first week and take full effect after 3 to 4 weeks. For many patients, it’s effective in relieving the pain. It is possible that the nerve will regrow, although the procedure can be repeated if needed.

After the did the nerve block, it stopped hurting after a day or two. So far, it’s working, and I haven’t had to wear my knee brace sentence. I’m hoping that the nerve block lasts for a long time, so I don’t have to worry about doing the nerve ablation. Although at least there’s a second option afterwards just in case.

I have still been working on my book and writing poems. I’ve been very inspired, and write something, even if it’s just a sentence or paragraph every day. I’m hoping to include most of my poems in my book for others to read. A lot of them tie in nicely with what I’m writing, although some don’t. I’m not quite sure how long it will take me to finish. I still need to fill in each chapter with more stories and feelings.

Although, my goal is to be done with writing it by the end of this year. Then I need to work on publishing and selling. I can’t wait for everyone to read it. So far, it’s one of my greatest accomplishments since my accident. The other ones are surviving, graduating high school, college, and being crowned Ms. wheelchair Minnesota 2011.

Also, since spring started, every day has been different. Between snow, rain, and sun, I’ve been able to make it outside when I get a chance. I love being outdoors; it’s better than being stuck inside not knowing what to do. Brody loves it too! I can’t believe he’s 10 now and still thriving. Despite some arthritis, he still loves his walk and rolls.

Jenni

Patchwork Quilt

In real time my life is like a homemade quilt

organized then sewn using leftover scraps carefully cut

Stitched together to tell a story of an event or moment,

that’s important; the devastating loss turned to hope

The matters in which this patchwork is created

with smaller pieces crafting a whole symbolizes

connection of voices, womanhood, and sense of history

My body prudently put back together after a

life altering car accident paralyzing my limbs

Although when stitched together with love

even the rough patches and mistakes can be warming

Writing and Poems

I’ve been creating some new poems lately. There’s a website I came across called All Poetry. It’s kind of like Instagram, only except posting photos and videos, you post your poetry. Then you can like and comment on people’s poems. You can also follow people and on your homepage other people’s poems pop up.

Even though I’m on Instagram, I don’t look at it often. In fact, I guess I don’t really go on Facebook that much either. But I am really interested in this poetry website, as I find the poems to be very creative. Some are inspiring, deep, or about people’s lives. In the last couple days, I have created four new poems. I posted them below.

I think the combination of writing my memoir, thinking about writing a blog post, and the website has gotten my creative juices flowing. Also, I have a lot of ideas in my mind right now about things going on, my accident, and myself. It makes me feel good to write, whether it’s for fun or for something specific. I also just love writing in general.

I suppose that’s why I’m so excited to get my book finished. Not just for others to read it, but for that sense of accomplishment. Since I don’t work, I spend my days working on my computer, going outside, playing board games, listening to audiobooks, organizing etc. I keep myself busy, although it does feel good when I finish something that I have been working on.

Jenni

A Night of Terror, a Life of Gratitude

It happened in an instant, a sudden car accident that only takes seconds but lasts a lifetime. Going 60 mph on an off ramp, single car rollover, landing back on all four wheels. No memory of it; no hearing twists, blows or shocks my body endured before, during, or right after. Witnesses behind come to our rescue, not knowing what to expect. Fire truck siren blaring, ambulance whaling, police car yelping, helicopter blades whooshing coming to take me away. Kept highly sedated, not knowing what happened until a week afterwards. Sustaining a C1 C2 spinal cord injury, paralyzed from the neck down, ventilator breathing for me. Throughout my journey, finding what’s most important in life, realizing things happen for a reason.

Timeless War

Reality in life

Can be of strife

It pains to say

That things are this way

Struggles throughout

Have many in doubt

Soldiers marching along

While remaining strong

Nothing appears as it seems

Only in our dreams

It may be safe inside

Looking beyond many have cried

Despite that feeling

We are healing

As things move through

Loss is few

No Silence

In my life there is no silence. Even when I am the only person in the room, there's always a constant flow of noise inserting into my ears, getting trapped inside my head. A whoosh of air going in and out, in and out; it is an everlasting hum that can be heard throughout the house. My ventilator breathes for me. Requiring electricity to run, it is an energy sucking, life-saving machine that never stops going. Power is essential. Electrical currents flow out of the outlet, up through the thick gray cord and into the machine. In and out, in and out; filling my lungs with air; oxygen running through my body; giving me life. It is a process that never stops, never sleeps and is never quiet. In my life there is no silence.

My Lifeline

My lungs are expanding, in out, in out

I feel my chest rise and fall

I am one with the vent

It's breathing for me

The sound is like an airplane flying ahead

Colored lights flash across the surface

Attached to me always

It flows through me like wind through trees

My Knees

After wearing my knee brace for about four months, it felt better every day. Although I decided to get an MRI on it to make sure everything’s better in my knee. I ended up doing both knees because there’s a bone sticking out under of my right knee the outside. Based on results, my orthopedic doctor told me that my left knee is completely healed despite that it still is painful on the side of my kneecap.

As far as my right, the bone that sticks out is just the way my fractured tibia healed. That was in 2019 and what ultimately brought me into the orthopedic surgeon, when I got my first MRI of both my legs. He said that my pain I am feeling on my left leg is possibly nerve pain. I’m going to schedule an appointment with a doctor in a pain clinic that specializes in a procedure called nerve blocking.

First, they inject the injured area with lidocaine to see if that takes the pain away. If it does, then they inject it with something that blocks the nerve (basically deadening all nerves in that area) to decrease or take away all pain. I’m hoping that this will be the answer I’m looking for to stop all pain. Right now it mostly hurts when being touched which is better than before.

I stopped wearing my knee brace during the day only on ABLE days to prevent any further injury. I can’t wait to see if the procedure works. Even though I am grateful that I can feel, I’m tired of the pain I have throughout a daily basis. I will keep you updated on how the process is going and if anything helps relieve my pain. It’s interesting that I’m writing about this because I’m almost finished with a chapter in my book related to physical therapy, movement, feeling and pain.

Jenni

Working on My Memoir

I'm sure some people know but not all, but I'm in the middle of writing a memoir starting from my accident until now, with some parts that happened in the past. In order to focus fully on writing, I've been putting off my blog (which I think is reasonable since I have so much writing to do.) I have about 18 or 19 chapters so far but still have to fill them with more content.

I was wondering if any of you had any stories or things to share that I could put in it, because I don't have the greatest memory of everything that aspired either right after or throughout then until now. If you have any suggestions or can offer something to put in it, either comment below or even send me a private message on messenger. Also, if I do end up using a story that has someone's name in it, I would need your permission to do so, otherwise I could change the name to something different. Please let me know if you have anything.

Thanks,

Jenni

Opening of the New Year

Happy new year everyone! I hope you had a good holiday and New Year’s. Seems like 2022 is already going by fast, with already a week into it. I know the last two posts along with this have just been updates. Since I’ve been working on my book, my days spent on my computer have mostly been writing. Although I feel like I have gotten a significant amount of it finished. It just needs organization and structure.

Here’s a little taste of part of a chapter in my book:

    After such a life altering situation, there is a grieving process. As I lost my independence, movement, and personal space after my accident, I realized that to move forward I needed to fully process what happened to me. If I shifted my thinking right away and accepted that my situation was indeed happening. If only I thought to myself, “Even though it’s not the most ideal place to be in, but it's happening.” I believe I was tempted into putting off dealing with the unknown or just pretending that it didn’t exist.

    Over the years, I’ve set numerous goals for myself. They helped me move past painful memories and situations in which are difficult to handle. Going through the different stages afterwards proved to be a process. It was a testament of my faith and own self-healing process. Finding my own path in life, I would realize that things aren’t always how they seem. 

    Our beginning milestones in life are rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking. There are many that we face throughout life like graduating, getting married and working a new job, that we don’t count but are easily important. For me, I began gaining self-awareness, surviving disappointment, and learning a new perspective.

    I was flooded with a vast of new emotions like feelings of loss in the early days following my injury. Like many people, I was stuck wondering “how could such a terrible thing happened to ME?” I started to become paralyzed with fear for what I had underwent and lost in the beginning. To get to the accepting stage, it took not only my mom, but others around me and myself to be able to overcome obstacles that would my way.

    There is an average amount who suffer spinal cord injuries who survive past the first 24 hours. It is often unpredictable what the journey to recovery is like, but it is usually long. Some sufferers of SCI’s simply accept what happened to them right away and for others it may take days, months or even years. The feelings of people who endure grief is widespread across all planes. I realize that there were times when I went through a grieving process of losing my independence and the loss of movement/feeling.

Jenni

News about ABLE

After my appointment almost 3 weeks ago, my orthopedic doctor told me that based on the x-rays, my knee fracture is healed. Even though it still hurts, he said it’s probably from the torn meniscus that happened back in 2019. He gave me a nice knee brace to wear. If it doesn’t feel better in a few months, he wants me to repeat an MRI on it to make sure everything looks okay.

The only problem is, if it is still my torn meniscus, there is no way for it to heal unless I got surgery on it. The only reason I would get surgery is if I was using it a lot, which I’m not. Good news, I was able to get an assessment done at ABLE almost 2 weeks ago. Bad news, they filled my spot Wednesdays and Fridays. Although they were able to squeeze me in with my same person every Wednesday from 1 PM-3:30 PM.

At least one day is better than nothing at all. Plus, I’m just slowly easing back into it since I haven’t been there in at least three months. Last Wednesday was my first day back. I was able to start back right where I left off which was good. At least I didn’t have to start from the beginning. That would mean losing any of my core strength or movement that I gained previously. Although I was sore and tired after my first session back!

Hopefully I will be able to gain another day during the week, even if it’s with a different person. Even though it feels better to stick with the same people because they know the routine and the process goes smoother, I’m open to change. Years ago, and even sometimes now (depending on the situation), I wouldn’t be able to say that. Anyways, I’m happy to be back there again because I really missed it.

Now that there’s snow on the ground and it’s colder, I haven’t been getting outside as much, unless it’s to an appointment. Other than yesterday, Brody hasn’t gotten his daily walk and rolls like usual. I’ve been trying my best to do things other than just watch TV. Listening to audiobooks, writing my book, playing board games with nurses, and wrapping presents are just some examples.

Jenni