Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Two Decades

After any change in life, there is an adjustment period. It’s how we adapt or become used to the changes that occurred. Without a doubt, experiencing a spinal cord injury is a challenging and new situation. When it happens, adjusting to living with SCI, can be hard; especially when trying to put your life back in order. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it although continuing to alter changes in life can be similar.

Going home is a major step in adjusting to life after SCI. It can be exciting to get back to the comforts of home. It can also be scary if you are unsure of what to expect once you get there. Having to get used to a “new normal” daily routine takes time. In my situation, I had to learn what it’s like to have others take care of me (not having as much independence as before.) 

I often say “it feels like I’m doing things for the first time” as I learn how to do activities differently. That feeling has faded as I worked through problems and figured out the best way to manage my daily routines. Despite experiencing a mix of emotions, I try to keep my mind occupied since I’m no longer able to physically do things.

It’s been two decades since the car accident that forever changed my future took place. I know I’ve written on my blog about positivity and hope, some of the very feelings I needed to thrive. Although at the time, I was very uncertain as to what the future would hold for me. Thankfully, I had friends and family supporting me, helping along the way. 

I chose a life of happiness, not wanting to live my life with immense sadness, anger, or depression. I can’t speak for others who experience traumatic events. Only how my life played out and thereafter. I feel very fortunate to have people by my side, helping me throughout the way. Although, there were moments after in which I had to take time to heal my emotional equilibrium.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, no matter how challenging or difficult it is. I’ve always felt that there was a reason why I survived. Maybe it was to help people in my situation or open someone’s eyes to what it’s like living with a disability. Sharing my story with others, whether it be using my blog or motivational speaking can be a way to express my feelings. 

Whatever it may be, I’m glad that I did. Life is short, so I try to do the best I can at living it to the fullest. Don’t take things for granted, you never know what can happen.

Jenni


Newest poems:


Living Life


Striking my inner being

like lightning bolts

times of a troublesome past

paralyzed body no longer breathing

trying to heal from the inside out

realizing life is worth living


Stress in Life


Nerves press firmly against my cortex as

boiling blood gushes through my veins

clouding my judgment,

clogging paths to relief


Frontal lobes on fire

my eyes water with fury

twisting and turning thoughts

scrambling my brain leaving it to rot


Struggling to maintain composure

bumps in the road create challenges and obstacles

stress of becoming paralyzed leaves emotional scars

slowly emptying all that’s left within me


Question everything that’s happened

How? Why? What now?

the day is ending

pain explodes beyond measure


Courage finally intervenes

willingness to survive has arrived

despite past feelings of doubt

my mind finally is free

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love it

Anonymous said...

I found you on YouTube, and made my way here. The post on YouTube was nine years old. I'm glad to see that you are still so positive and seem to be doing well. I will check in on you from time to time.