Thursday, January 3, 2013

Off the Grid

I was trying to figure out the reason why it was so difficult for me to write a blog post these last couple of months. I kept saying to myself that I’ve been really busy with school and homework. However, I can’t really say that anymore since I am done with classes at Normandale and moving on to St. Thomas in a month. I was in this cycle of starting new blog posts about things that were going on but never finished them.

I get hundreds of page views a day on my blog from people all over the world. Some people have found a link to my blog on another webpage. Some know my blog address by heart and just type it in to the address bar. Some have the address in their favorites menu. Many type something they’re looking for into a search page and then randomly click on a link to my blog, realize it’s not what they want, and instantly click the back button. However, there are those few that do the latter and instead of clicking the back button may end up getting sucked in to my story and thoughts and spend hours reading all of my past blog posts. Some people get inspired or have a similar story in which they comment or contact me.

I’ve met a lot of people through my blog, many that I can call friends and talk to on a regular basis. I’ve also helped people in different ways through the things I write about and what I share. Many people look forward to reading what I have to say and even check it every day to see if I’ve made a post. Knowing all of this, knowing how much I inspire others, knowing that people are out there waiting for me to make a post so they can relate to it or learn from it or be inspired by it or share it with their friends and family, was making me wonder why it has been so difficult for me to write a blog post.
To be honest sometimes I would feel obligated to write a post, even though I love writing all together. Whether it is about me or others it should never feel like a "chore" to do. Then sometimes I would get bothered by my feelings (which I shouldn’t be). I know I should just let my emotions free, but it’s hard to do being that it makes me so much more vulnerable than I already am.

I’ve developed my writing tremendously over the past few years. I used to dread writing classes in high school. Probably because we had to write research papers and book reports involving pages and pages of never-ending quotes from different sources. Now things are different because I can write about whatever I want; nonfiction is my favorite. I’ve thought about writing for magazines or having a column in the newspaper. That’s the reason I chose the University of St. Thomas to go to because I’ll be majoring in communications and journalism. The job spectrum for this degree is very widespread.

To some it all up, I’m not going to let it bother me whether or not I’m able to write a blog post. I’m just going to keep producing as they come. I may have moments of increased posts and I may have times where I seem to be off the grid. Whichever it may be, always remember that although one of the reasons I blog is to help myself be able to vent my emotions I always have my readers in mind.


"View your emotions in a non-ordinary way: as vehicles for transformation rather than simply as feelings that make you happy or miserable. Expect them to test your heart; that’s the point. What you go through-what we all go through-has a greater purpose. Always, the imperative of emotional freedom is for the love in us to evolve."
-Judith Orloff


Anonymous said...


I think we all understand that there are going to be times you just need a break. Take it easy on yourself. Write when the spirit moves you....Take care.

Anonymous said...

I'll just come forward and say I'm one of these people that randomly anonymously frequent your blog lol. I found you by one day googling "Paralyzed from the neck down" on google images and your picture came up with you in a standing frame. I believe this was on the easy stand website? with a little blurb on your story. Anyway, it had a link (at the time) to this site and I clicked on it and ended up here from time to time. Mostly out of some type of curiosity.. I don't know, I may sound a bit stupid or naive but I never believed a person paralyzed from the neck down was actually a real thing. I thought it was only some type of fantasy scenario that happended in a movie, T.V series (Touched by an angel-eque) or only was suffered by the actor Christopher Reeve. Hence the curiosity about you... I just was "pulled in" that you had suffered and were living with this kind of injury and wanted to see how you were able to get on in life.

I was a bit puzzled how you couldn't be depressed and was shocked to see how normal your attitude was and how you aim for an actual career instead of just being "the patient". You're really surprising. You have even re-shaped a lot of my perception on disability.

I just thought I'd lay down my thoughts and reasons for coming to this site. I'm sure your curious as to who your anonymous readers are and why they come here. Don't feel pressure to be any type of inspiration or anything to us.. just live your life. Update only when you feel like you want to.

Magicmarka said...

I found your blog on the Easystand website. I am an incomplete quad. I particularly found this post interesting as I am also a rather "active" paralyzed woman and as much as I "go", some days I just need to STOP!
It's okay to say "I can't right now" as long as you don't give up... From what I see, you're not the "give up" kind. Take a breathe, that's a huge step unto itself, and as the post above said, just live your life... The rest will flow as it's meant to!
Congratulations on your acceptance!