A Way to Live

To me, being paralyzed does not mean the end. It can be difficult and challenging at times but I'm able to handle whatever comes my way. I believe my accident happened for a reason. Throughout this journey so far I've met some amazing people and learned new things. My paralysis hasn't limited me or stopped me from pursuing my dreams. There are many things I can do, I just do them differently. I'm not in a stage of depression and don't in any way feel sorry for myself.

I know that there are people in my situation out there who do not have the same feelings. I realize that everybody handles and deals with things in different ways. What may be easy for some may be extremely difficult for another. I'm writing this for those who feel their life is not worth living because of their situation or experiences. I'd like to offer my help in any way possible because I truly believe that things happen for a reason. My goal is to inspire others to live on through change in their life.

Jenni

Celebrating With Joy

Merry Christmas!

Last night we had family over for Christmas Eve. I love when everyone gets together to celebrate. We ate shrimp and ham for dinner and then opened presents. This morning we unwrapped our presents to each other and soon we're going to have more family over. Dinner tonight will be turkey and mashed potatoes (just like we do on Thanksgiving).

It does get overwhelming around the holidays and I get burned out quickly. Entertaining people can be exhausting at times, especially if I'm doing a lot of talking. But I do enjoy the time I can spend with family. A few years ago I wrote this post about Christmas and what it's really about. I thought I'd share it again for all my new readers since then.

The last couple of Christmases, I've kind of been bah humbug about the whole thing. Not because I don't like Christmas, but because I don't like what it has become. I have learned over the years what Christmas is and is not about. It's not about how many gifts you give or receive. It's not about trying to top last year's gift. It's not about the decorations and the flashy wrapping paper. It's not about Santa Claus and his reindeer landing on the top of the house, him coming down the chimney in the middle of the night, eating the cookies left out, and leaving loads of presents behind. I know it is fun to receive and give and decorate and wrap and believe in magic. But it's about the real meaning of Christmas. It's about family and getting together and celebrating the birth of Jesus. It's about the love and passion and the praise that we give and receive on this one day. It has a special meaning to everyone and I think more people need to find their meaning. For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope this year you all can find the true meaning of Christmas in your hearts.

Jenni

Winter Break

I've been studying all week and took my final for my class today. I think I did pretty well on it and am confident I'll get a good grade in the class. Now I'm finally on winter break and don't have to worry about school for almost a month.

I signed up for two classes for Spring semester. The first one is a logic class that I'll be taking at Normandale. The second one is introduction to short stories and it's online. I know it will be a tougher semester for me because of the homework load and reading but I'm up for the challenge.

Now that I have a goal set to graduate fall 2012 with my associates in communications I'm excited to get through and finish up.

Jenni

Standing up Again

The other day I went in my Easystand Stander for the first time in a couple months. I hadn't been doing it because of the pain in my shoulder. It's been feeling a little bit better so I thought I'd try it. I was able to get up to 60° for 10 min., which was more than I expected. I did go up to 70° but after about a minute my blood pressure dropped dramatically and I had to sit back down.

My goal is to start standing twice a week for an hour again. I know it's going to be challenging building up tolerance, but I'm up for it. The benefits that I get are worth the hard work and effort it will take me.

Jenni

Cirque Dreams Holidaze

Yesterday my boyfriend Blake took me to see Cirque Dreams Holidaze at Mystic Lake Casino. It was so much fun to see all the acts and people dressed up in costume. I have seen Cirque Dreams before but never the holiday one. I've also gone to a few Cirque du Soleil performances over the years. Those are amazing to see as well. If you haven't seen any video of either of these you should definitely check them out on YouTube. Here's the trailer for the one we went to. It's very similar to this only they had different people and a few different acts.



Jenni

MRI Follow-Up

I went to the orthopedist office today and found out the results of my MRI. Turns out I don't have frozen shoulder which is very good news because that could take up to a year to heal. I do have bursitis in my shoulder, which is basically inflammation of the fluid filled sac (bursa) that lies between the tendon and bone. The doctor gave me a cortisone shot (just like planned) and it's already feeling a little better. She said it could take up to 72 hours for the full affect. I'm happy that it wasn't anything more serious. I had bursitis in my left hip a few years ago and I got a cortisone shot for that. The pain went away and it healed up nicely so I didn't have to get another shot. Hopefully this will just do the same.

Jenni

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful to be alive and here today celebrating life! I'm also thankful for all the wonderful people in my life who have supported me and been with me throughout. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Jenni

A Feeling of Pain

For about the past eight weeks I've been experiencing some pain in my right shoulder. It hurts in the back near the rotator cuff. For a while it only hurt when someone was moving my arm but these past couple weeks it's been hurting constantly. Even with all my therapy, range of motion and pain medications; nothing seems to help it.

Last Wednesday I went to an orthopedic specialist to see if I could figure out what was wrong. It was funny because she kept on moving it all these different directions asking if it hurt each time. I was like yeah it hurts every time you move it. Even though I have limited feeling in my body, I can still feel pain. My body can also tell when something is hurting because when it does I spasm.

She made a pre-diagnosis of frozen shoulder (technical name is adhesive capsulitis). I had no idea what that meant, but apparently it's when the shoulder is painful and loses motion because of inflammation. I'm in the pain stage now; my shoulder hasn't lost too much motion yet, only the fact that whichever way it's moved hurts so I try not to. She said that in order to tell for sure I would need an MRI done.

Today I got the MRI of my shoulder. I never had one before this. I heard stories about how loud and claustrophobic it is, but I wasn't nervous going in. It was just a bigger ordeal because I'm a quad on a vent with a C1 to C3 spinal fusion and a baclofen pump. We had to make sure that everything was cleared before being sucked into a big magnet.

My fusion was okay because it's been 8 1/2 years since I've had it. I was worried though about the baclofen pump at first. Then I read that they are okay in an MRI but they may temporarily stop working while in it. I had to get a doctor's order for someone at the hospital to read it before and afterwards to make sure it was working properly. Then as far as my vent goes, they just switched me to one of theirs which was MRI safe.

Before going in they put a headset on me with music of my choice. I am claustrophobic in certain situations, but while inside I just shut my eyes and tried to relax. There was a lot of beeping and clanking going on during. Every so often I would hear a voice in my ear asking me if I was doing okay (wasn't too happy about the interruption of my songs…lol). Overall it went well and I came out with a smile on my face so the people there were happy about that.

I'm going in to the orthopedist office on Monday where I'll get the results. If it is frozen shoulder they will do a cortisone shot to bring down the inflammation and help with the pain. Then I'll be able to have physical therapy work on getting proper movement in it. I might have to go back six weeks after to get another shot if the pain starts up again. Other than that it just needs lots of time for it to heal.

I'll keep you updated as I know more.

Jenni

School

I can't believe there's snow on the ground and winter is coming soon! This year has gone by so fast.

School has been going well. I only have a few weeks left before winter break. I've been looking into classes to take in the spring but haven't decided yet. I set up an appointment to meet with a counselor at the school for academic planning so I can figure out what I have left to take. I really like school, but I'll definitely be glad when I'm done and start focusing my time on a career.

Jenni

Snow!

I can't believe winter is just around the corner. It's been snowing outside all day and it's the first snowfall we've had. That's my favorite because it's so pretty and clean looking. The worst is towards the end of winter when the white is gone and everything is dirty. Throughout the day I've been watching the different animals that come around in my backyard. Then I just wrote this poem about it.

A Day in My Backyard

Snow falling to the ground
Turning white all around

Deer grazing in the woods
Searching for different goods

Squirrels scattering in the yard
Finding little scraps is hard

Bluejays in a cheerful mood
Looking to the sidewalk for food

Ducks splashing in the pond
It's my backyard that I am fond

Jenni