tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19382281455079260762024-03-14T04:47:17.566-05:00The Site That BreathesFaith, hope, love, happiness and challengesJennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.comBlogger697125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-15805959405598727142024-02-12T22:20:00.001-06:002024-02-12T22:20:34.835-06:00Lack of Motivation<p>It is normal for people to experience a lack of motivation in life sometimes. However, when it becomes severe or chronic, it may indicate an underlying condition that could be serious. Loss of motivation can sometimes lead to burnout, depression, etc. I’m no expert when it comes to diagnosing others with symptoms and I especially can’t attest to which people experience it worldwide. Although, I can share my thoughts about my own motivation in life.</p><p>For me, it has to do with passion, interests, inspiration, progress, etc. Also, if I don’t feel up to doing something, I might be inclined to say “no” despite what the indication would be. If that happens a lot, I may not notice it and continue going down the same path. Although if others are willing to tell me, I go back and re-evaluate to see if there’s something I could be doing differently.</p><p>Another thing that’s worked to get/stay motivated is to go over the ways I have found in the past to keep me motivated. This includes all aspects of life, projects, relationships, etc. Some ways are to set small goals to build momentum and reward myself for the little things as well as the big ones. I’ve noticed this being the most helpful when I’m writing, whether it’s poetry or for my book. (Although I suppose it hasn't helped when it's come to writing blog posts!) I stay on one task, before going to the next.</p><p>I noticed that after my accident, when there were moments when things got tough, I would either keep a positive mindset or spiral down a path of unpleasant feelings. This also came with what was going on in my life at the time. School was a big one, and even to this day lack of independence makes things tough to deal with. Over time, I learned to only take on as much as I could handle, and not overwork myself.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p>Here are some of my latest poems from the last month or so:</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Things Happen for a Reason</b></p><p>I’m at a crossroad in my journey knowing,</p><p>that the entrance to the tunnel is my only way out.</p><p>It might simply be chance that brought me here,</p><p>needing clarity in a moment of struggles.</p><p><br /></p><p>Trying to make sure all my bases are covered,</p><p>because going backward is not an option.</p><p>As I walk down the path towards the entrance</p><p>thinking “how my life will change forever?”</p><p><br /></p><p>After that day I never stopped to wonder</p><p>“What if I was able to go another direction?”</p><p>Realizing that “things happen for a reason,”</p><p>becoming paralyzed is the end of this equation.</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Loss of Movement</b></p><p>My restless body stirs screaming out,</p><p>like a wanderer of burdensome shown</p><p>limbs once agile find themselves bound,</p><p>in realms where muscles falter and cease to dance</p><p><br /></p><p>How my loss of motion brings my spirits low</p><p>in the silence of stillness my hope falters</p><p>within these confines a fire burns out</p><p>a flame once resilient that light up the dark</p><p><br /></p><p>Whispering for the grace of movement</p><p>like gentle waves caressing the shore</p><p>though my limbs may be still my journey persists</p><p>for within still moments my strength rises</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Red Wings in Winter</b></p><p>Beneath a tapestry of Minnesota skies</p><p>in the hush of winters icy cold woods</p><p>sitting on a branch of a snow-covered pine</p><p>a scarlet red cardinal spreads its wings</p><p><br /></p><p>Painting a picture of a breathtaking scene</p><p>a symphony of movement from tree to tree</p><p>its wings flicker in the golden sunlight, </p><p>feet that carve through the frigid air</p><p></p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-72781475811232317132023-12-24T16:27:00.006-06:002023-12-24T16:27:38.720-06:00Rounding Out the Year<p>On November 26, I was admitted to Methodist hospital for major G.I. problems. They also figured out that I had something called Norovirus (basically like the flu with some of the same symptoms, but worse.) The virus had been going around through my family, but it only lasted about 24 hours or so, making them think that it was just the flu. Since the seriousness of the G.I. problems were so bad, I was in the hospital for 10 days, getting released on December 6. I am feeling much better now, and hopefully I can avoid the hospital.</p><p>I was sad to cancel my appointments with therapy and ABLE, missing it 5 times. When I finally went back, I had to take it easy because my body wasn’t used to all the physical work. Now that I’m back to my usual routine, it’s gotten easier every time. I continue to push myself each session, leaving me with the best possible outcome. I’m loving how much I have gained by going to ABLE, including balancing upright by using my core muscles.</p><p>Since today is Christmas eve, we are having my sister, her boyfriend and 2 of her 3 kids over for dinner. Tonight, we are having prime rib and tomorrow we’re going to have turkey (basically a repeat of Thanksgiving!) Christmas Day we’ll open presents with them and all 3 kids before we eat. </p><p>This year is unique because it’s a brown Christmas. The few snows we’ve had this year haven’t stuck around. It’s even supposed to rain tomorrow, and temperatures are higher than normal. In 2021, there was no snow on Christmas, but it’s been a little over a century since there was no snow into the first months of winter. Although I have been able to take Everett for a walk most days, which has been nice.</p><p>Other than that, I’ve been mostly writing poems. I posted some below that I wrote in the past month or so.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p><b>[ Soft flakes lightly fall ]</b></p><p><br /></p><p>Soft flakes lightly fall</p><p>carpeting the ground in white</p><p>Winter’s serene hush</p><p><br /></p><p><b>A Sunset</b></p><p><br /></p><p>A sunset over the lake,</p><p>where colors bleed and blend,</p><p>a canvas of nature's art,</p><p>when time appears to delay</p><p><br /></p><p>The sky is dyed in hues,</p><p>of crimson, gold, and pink</p><p>the sun slopes below the horizon,</p><p>a moment we cannot miss</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Mr. Claus</b></p><p><br /></p><p>In winter's chill, when evenings are cold,</p><p>a jolly old man with a heart of gold</p><p>bringing gifts to children young and old</p><p>his name is Santa, his legend bold</p><p><br /></p><p>With a smile, he rides through the sky,</p><p>in a sleigh pulled by reindeer, so high,</p><p>they dash across the stars, with a twinkling light,</p><p>while Santa spreads joy, on Christmas night</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-37853015659826958832023-11-01T22:26:00.000-05:002023-11-01T22:26:05.571-05:00Celebrating Milestones<p>Looking back, I had no idea how my life would turn out after my accident. At the time I was so focused on surviving that I didn’t have time to think about it. Although my positivity about moving forward has helped in many ways. Big or small, I’ve experienced many ups and downs, good and bad times.</p><p>Today marks the 21st anniversary of my car accident. Marking the day of my anniversary has always been a celebration. It’s my way to commemorate living, grateful to be alive after what happened. That also involves the obstacles I’ve overcome throughout my journey, including milestones.</p><p>According to an article about milestones in SWnewsmedia.com, a milestone is “an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.” Whether a milestone is “big” or “small,” depends on the meaning that’s attached to it. For example, milestones could be birthdays, achievements, anniversaries or even a baby’s first steps.</p><p>Why is it important to celebrate milestones? It’s good to note the growth, progress and accomplishments that can influence people’s lives. Milestones can be a sign of triumph over challenges and can contribute to developing healthy self-esteem. </p><p>Celebrating milestones isn’t just about having a party, it’s a way to show people that they matter and that their lives have meaning to others. How people celebrate milestones varies. You can even celebrate your own triumphs and milestones. Oprah Winfrey says, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”</p><p>In my case, it includes my anniversary, reminding me of the struggles I’ve overcome afterwords and along the way. Recognizing my milestones gives me a chance to look back and see what got me to this point in life. Another opportunity to think how, moving forward, I want to best serve the rest of my life.</p><p>I’m thankful to the people who have helped me throughout the way. This includes family, friends, nurses, hospital staff, etc.</p><p>Jenni</p><p>What about you? What milestones are you celebrating?</p><p>Here’s a challenge: Take stock of the milestones you already celebrate along with some that you might want to add to your life. Why are these milestones important to you? How do you want to celebrate them and who will be included in your celebrations?</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-80327154353746609782023-10-30T15:48:00.001-05:002023-10-30T15:48:25.609-05:00What's new?<p>I’m now a proud aunt to a 3rd baby girl! On October 16, 2023, Emersyn Scott Steinman was born. Sisters Avery, 10 and Madilyn, 3, are happy to have another sister. Now I have another niece to spoil! I shared some pictures below. Also, my birthday was the 19th. I didn’t do much, except have some cheesecake after dinner. I don’t eat many sweets, so that’s a big deal for me. Although I do love cheesecake.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuDo_emrrGU8wv3K0fcz3nF5TAjivOoL_I0U861dPG1s1ibHZul1cUHcoS8l44NkoSjG4283mCOiYF0olVzlrj4Scw9ZmRdaJAzZ9p73Yu-I-PUV9aeg9CFbSd8F534X2fCsCxOvwZD58xViEriYJ22fYPK82AP0jxHdMTh6WFWNKi366aRSmxJJD_7ow/s1457/Me%20and%20Emersyn.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1457" data-original-width="1093" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuDo_emrrGU8wv3K0fcz3nF5TAjivOoL_I0U861dPG1s1ibHZul1cUHcoS8l44NkoSjG4283mCOiYF0olVzlrj4Scw9ZmRdaJAzZ9p73Yu-I-PUV9aeg9CFbSd8F534X2fCsCxOvwZD58xViEriYJ22fYPK82AP0jxHdMTh6WFWNKi366aRSmxJJD_7ow/s320/Me%20and%20Emersyn.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emersyn and Me</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilKdD30LBZRW2VMgx5Yh2GhZrv1f3WLjp0VnUbthHqn1MpxRKCkQy1ilMIT8nLbq1PjbbkDotT_f17QTm0QuJN9vmVfDkgapcXG9dcGCxKTLguMCZzJxGumT9tSA-7lbPFVu70iQJcHEL6oh2XFxGrK-K9o95Ikp_ViGNBU6R5wFheITywc-PDsj_K-XE/s4032/Emmy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilKdD30LBZRW2VMgx5Yh2GhZrv1f3WLjp0VnUbthHqn1MpxRKCkQy1ilMIT8nLbq1PjbbkDotT_f17QTm0QuJN9vmVfDkgapcXG9dcGCxKTLguMCZzJxGumT9tSA-7lbPFVu70iQJcHEL6oh2XFxGrK-K9o95Ikp_ViGNBU6R5wFheITywc-PDsj_K-XE/s320/Emmy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emmy</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRmiwtHt3c_8QWkhzVsW3GYAwZ6HxLGCkkEyK5lVhkbDXf_3s1YhULOHH40p3Oacb1OSxXUomQX6qQDCVPb5BOl4YAU2nouFsVoRu3jdrOnqBpW2xnlDd1txtoxl4VexVVNkHj7YiXSNeDrq2Tu5w53TCY2KlK3LtUz9xsnQM883HOd3TVMD2H6TEd_40/s2000/Madi.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRmiwtHt3c_8QWkhzVsW3GYAwZ6HxLGCkkEyK5lVhkbDXf_3s1YhULOHH40p3Oacb1OSxXUomQX6qQDCVPb5BOl4YAU2nouFsVoRu3jdrOnqBpW2xnlDd1txtoxl4VexVVNkHj7YiXSNeDrq2Tu5w53TCY2KlK3LtUz9xsnQM883HOd3TVMD2H6TEd_40/s320/Madi.JPEG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Madi, age 3</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>I’m so glad the pandemic is pretty much over. It’s allowed me to get out of the house more. That especially means ABLE, which I have been working hard at still. I believe being able to go to Sister Kenny twice a week has been one of the most beneficial things for me. Not only physically, but mentally as well. Being able to focus and connect the two is vital, especially for someone with a spinal cord injury. It also feels great to get some exercise.</p><p>I remember back when I was talking about how much water weight I had gained, causing edema. After being in the hospital in the beginning of March 2021, I wrote about my progress. The following quote is from a blog post I did August 9, 2021.</p><p>“Since being in the hospital to try to find the source of my edema, I’ve lost over 20 pounds of fluid. I guess they were right about my seizure medication being the source of my water weight gain. I feel so much better, and people have been noticing a significant difference as well. There is more fluid that I could lose over time, and I believe ABLE will help with that.”</p><p>After weighing myself this past Saturday, I can successfully say I went from 190 pounds before the hospital down to 134 pounds. That’s a total of 66 pounds, and I’m pretty sure most of it is water weight. I’m not trying to lose anymore, as I’m feeling healthier and better. I really notice a difference from the pictures I shared above with Emmy and the ones I shared in 2020 with Madi when she was born.</p><p>Jenni</p><p>Here are some recent poems I have written:</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Feeling Pain</b></p><p>Pain walks into my life</p><p>needing more than I can give</p><p>no matter how loud I scream</p><p>it doesn’t ever want to leave</p><p><br /></p><p>Like a homeless dog</p><p>who comes to the back door</p><p>wanting nothing more than help</p><p>not able to give it attention</p><p><br /></p><p>Unlikely to leave me soon</p><p>I’m forced to feed it even more</p><p>finding a space within me</p><p>might take some freedom away</p><p><br /></p><p>Lights flicker when I leave</p><p>any room between the gates</p><p>showing just how much I feel</p><p>like it will never be the same</p><p><br /></p><p>An unbearable task at hand</p><p>I’ve come to an agreement</p><p>I seek for freedom to live a life</p><p>where doors are always open</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Opening up</b></p><p>Something came into the world,</p><p>changing me, broadcasting out</p><p>ways I would have never known,</p><p>without experiencing this time</p><p><br /></p><p>Feeling the movement growing</p><p>seeing strength outside the plain</p><p>breaking open, becoming bigger</p><p>I step beyond limitations aside</p><p><br /></p><p>Using a footstool to reach higher,</p><p>diving into an ocean of beauty,</p><p>ripples spread, touching others,</p><p>giving eyes to see and ears to hear</p><p><br /></p><p>Shedding away, opening my core</p><p>grateful to be alive during this time,</p><p>allowing an experience to view</p><p>vulnerable sides showcasing time</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-2928768768864123672023-09-18T13:30:00.000-05:002023-09-18T13:30:05.720-05:00Newest Update<p>Since my last post, I was back in the hospital for another respiratory infection. It wasn’t pneumonia, but it was bad enough for me to be admitted. I went into the emergency room and was admitted on August 5, then was discharged on August 9. They sent me home for 2 days then I was back in the ER on August 11 for 6 days. The reason I went back into the hospital was because my mom, nurses, and I all repeatedly told them I wasn’t ready to go home, but they kicked me out anyways. </p><p>Before leaving, I was still feeling sick and having all the same symptoms. Although the hospital said, “they recommended that I continue current antibiotic measurements and that I could do that at home under the supervision of my nurses.” I’m feeling much better now and have been healthy since. I went home with a PICC line (it’s like an IV, but it is a type of catheter to access bigger veins.) It can also be left in for a longer period, but there is a dressing on it and needs changing once a week (mine was by the crease of my elbow.)</p><p>One thing that happened this time is I also had issues, although it wasn’t with my wheelchair, but my ventilator attached to my wheelchair. My vent plugs into my wheelchair which charges it and is also like an “external battery” for it. The vent internal battery lasts about 30-40 minutes and when it’s running off my wheelchair, it lasts as long as my wheelchair battery is. At some point at time while I was there, my vent started beeping “low battery,” so we used the plug-in to the wall instead.</p><p>Before I went home, I had to have the wheelchair company come to the hospital to figure out if they could fix whatever was broken. He found that the converter box (a black box that the wheelchair battery and ventilator battery plug-in to) was crushed. I’m sure at some point when I was repositioning in my chair, I must have leaned into it. Then, over time the box continued to break down and it chose that moment to quit working. Anyway, at first, he said they would have to order a whole new one, but then she was able to fix it on the spot. About a week later, someone came to my house and replaced the box.</p><p>Since being home I’ve been staying low key, writing poetry, getting outside, taking Everette for walks. I’ve also been continuing to go to ABLE whenever I can. Nursing lately has been a little spotty and it doesn’t work to go on days when there isn’t one. The best part about going is learning new things and gaining more movement. I took a video of my latest progress and will share it in a separate post. I'm always amazed at myself and have been told that by others.</p><p>If everything works out, I will continue to go there as long as I can. Nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams. Over time I have gained more arm movement and core balance. The one thing that stops me short on some days are my arm exercises. I get major pain in my neck and arm sockets. It could be a combination within the arm exercises and my wheelchair. I’m planning on seeing a doctor about my arms coming up soon.</p><p>The most exciting news since my last post is that my sister is due again in October. Now I will be an aunt to 3 girls!</p><p>I am hoping to update sooner than 4 months, as my posts have become longer and random. Although every day I’m new writing poems and entering them into contests. I have shared some of my recent ones below. Thank you for your patience.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Natures Grace’s</b></p><p>Sunlight dances piercing through cirrus clouds</p><p>rays of light shine causing shadows to scream loud,</p><p>Like molten cream the sky is full of many hues</p><p>emitting molecules scattering violets and blues</p><p><br /></p><p>Feeling a heaviness lumbering tirelessly through</p><p>evergreen trees that stick together like glue,</p><p>Strong roots run deep entangling underground,</p><p>sending secret messages beneath the loamy ground</p><p><br /></p><p>As brisk breezes brushes across center retrieves</p><p>running its fingers between the crimson leaves</p><p>Lifeforms unpredictability like ribbons of sound</p><p>breathing in the crisp air from oxygen around</p><p><br /></p><p>Times when there are changes between seasons,</p><p>with lessons at the same time as life’s reasons</p><p>Tapestry of nature whispers secrets in the streams</p><p>carrying them around Earth’s beautiful bright beams</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Crossing an Intersection</b></p><p>At an intersection to cross the street</p><p>when the light turns green “what should I do?”</p><p>I’m in a wheelchair trying to be discreet,</p><p>I wish I could walk when the sign tells me to</p><p><br /></p><p>There is no wheelchair symbol flashing,</p><p>just words saying “walk” or “don’t walk,”</p><p>when I see that I just start laughing</p><p>there should be a voice that starts to talk</p><p><br /></p><p>Wondering what people would think,</p><p>if there were words saying “roll” or “don’t roll,”</p><p>they might get a kick or need to rethink,</p><p>maybe they’d get confused or lose control</p><p><br /></p><p>Figuring out how to have it both ways,</p><p>for walkers and rollers lessening the confusion</p><p>there could be a custom-built phrase,</p><p>saying “cross” or “don’t cross” for inclusion</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Who is following me?</b></p><p>Getting smaller as I charge for it,</p><p>growing taller as I walk away,</p><p>constantly creeping beside me</p><p>lurking in my every movement</p><p><br /></p><p>Shifting shapes in the sunlight</p><p>dimming within the moonlight</p><p>learning to accept the fact,</p><p>that I can’t get away fast enough</p><p><br /></p><p>Feeling fearful and empty inside,</p><p>it always has a hold of my sight,</p><p>despite all the dark there is light</p><p>behind my shadow to show itself</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-71591711765748963722023-06-01T22:19:00.003-05:002023-06-01T22:19:43.042-05:00Visit to the Hospital<p>Two weeks ago, I went to the Emergency Room because I was feeling short of breath, my oxygen was low, and I was having to be suctioned more frequently. They did a chest x-ray along with blood work. The ER doc looked at my x-ray and thought I had a mild case of pneumonia. My white blood count was also high, which could coincide with an infection. He put me on a week’s dose of an oral antibiotic.</p><p>Despite being on an antibiotic, last Wednesday I started getting worse. I decided to take another trip to the ER. Based on the symptoms I was still going through and results from different tests, this time they decided to admit me to the hospital. I was in the ICU for a day and ½ then transferred to a different floor. The reason they admitted me, was so they could give me IV antibiotics. Much more powerful than oral ones.</p><p>My nurses come into the hospital with me and sit by my side. Although they can’t do anything “nursing related” they can help me with things I need at bedside, along with conversation. Since the hospital is so busy, they can’t exactly assign an aid to sit in the room with me and help with all my needs. If I don’t have someone that can be there all the time, I’m stuck by myself with nothing to do.</p><p>Also, my family helped as well. There’s nothing worse than being away from your own things and environment. Whenever I admitted to the hospital, I end up bringing “everything but the kitchen sink.” In other words, packing and getting a lot of things from my house. My mom even brought me some food as ordering the same thing at the hospital can be boring.</p><p>I received more tests, pricks in my arm, blood draws, a pic line placed, along with the antibiotics and rest. I’m glad to say I bounced back quickly and was discharged from the hospital this past Saturday afternoon. After getting in my wheelchair and about ready to leave, I noticed something very critical. Within all the chaos, I forgot to bring something that would’ve been very helpful: my charger for my wheelchair.</p><p>When they turned it on, I realized it was completely dead. There was no way I was able to drive myself out of the hospital. My wheelchair can be put on a “manual mode” but it’s very heavy to push (more than 500 pounds with me and it.) Plus, there was the added maneuvering around corners, through doorways, elevator, van, and into my house. My wheelchair was facing the wall, so I sat there for 15 minutes before deciding to have them turn me around manually to at least watch some TV.</p><p>After about 30 more minutes, they turned my wheelchair on, and I was able to drive it. Although we figured out that it must’ve come unplugged when they turned me around because I had just enough juice to get in the elevator and to the waiting room. So, I had to stay in the waiting room for about 40 minutes while it charged. Luckily, I was in a bigger space with windows surrounding me. With that amount of time, I could drive myself into my van and get situated.</p><p>Although, by the time I got home, it was dead again. I was in the driveway with my wheelchair plugged in to outlets on the house using an extension cord. Figuring it would take another 40 minutes of charging, when it was unplugged, the battery was still dead! My aunt, Sandy, and my mom just put it on manual and got me into my house because I didn’t want to wait in the van any longer. Regardless, I was discharged around 2:30 PM and got in my house close to 6 PM. It was a long day for everyone.</p><p>Despite everything that happened, my health is back to baseline, and I feel 100% better. I even went to ABLE yesterday and am also planning on going tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t have any more infections, although my allergies are acting up because of the weather. The smoke from the fires in Canada are making our air quality bad, which makes it impossible for people with “breathing problems” to go outside.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p>Recent poem I wrote for a contest about joy or hope:</p><p>Strangers Bring Hope</p><p>Fresh flowers placed on a someone else’s grave</p><p>showing others care for strangers in need</p><p>helping to open all the doors that are closed</p><p>bringing hope to those who are mourning</p><p><br /></p><p>Symbolizing the frailty of one’s lifetime</p><p>bouquets representing condolences and grief</p><p>a form of ongoing memorialiazation to them</p><p>leaving something in their honor to remember</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-12589905804450473862023-04-24T22:02:00.002-05:002023-04-25T12:25:30.998-05:00Reflection<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAxajP461jBgcsK5KATXyNCV-xD54BoZ335inP-yu6g2h3BF8qxvGchXd_a2N94aPTYFTgUPHv4MTb8MKdwn1g4cL3Y7GBzrNWQTCshNUrLu0dznyArQcXyqbuZCelUFTIru65xUGA-BE19FuY1SXNZbp26-SsmlTld-EEHNFi0LvSKY5BNJ9qRkpe" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="419" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAxajP461jBgcsK5KATXyNCV-xD54BoZ335inP-yu6g2h3BF8qxvGchXd_a2N94aPTYFTgUPHv4MTb8MKdwn1g4cL3Y7GBzrNWQTCshNUrLu0dznyArQcXyqbuZCelUFTIru65xUGA-BE19FuY1SXNZbp26-SsmlTld-EEHNFi0LvSKY5BNJ9qRkpe" width="286" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reflection</td></tr></tbody></table></p><p>It’s been a busy month. As usual, we have had some snow days in April. Some have even prevented me from going to ABLE. One day we went from 80°F to the next day of 30°F. I guess that’s Minnesota for you though. We’ve also had some flooding of rivers and lakes. Even though all the snow has melted, it’s still in the low 40s. I’m not sure what the forecast looks like over the next couple of weeks yet, but we may still get more snow.</p><p>At least when it was nice for a while, I was able to take Everett out for walks. He’s been coming in to his own this past month. He still needs lots of attention and to be taken outside on leash. I haven’t quite gotten to the point where he listens to me, but I know that will come soon enough. It took Brody a couple years and to be hooked up to my wheelchair. He is a great dog, although needs some training still. He’s going to go for a “vacation” at the trainers’ house for 4 days starting tomorrow.</p><p>I’ve been reading audiobooks one after the other to and from appointments. I’ve also been keeping busy by writing more poetry. I pasted some of my poems I recently wrote below. I put writing my book on hold for a while. The format is good, but I need to write more content and that will come in time.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p>The poem below is written for a photo contest based on the one at the beginning of my blog post.</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Reflection</b></p><p><br /></p><p>Across the river by the golden valley</p><p>stands a tree with limbs of certainty,</p><p>all gravel roads race to picture it</p><p>sunrays arrive to highlight its arches</p><p><br /></p><p>Shapes and patterns come and go,</p><p>embracing the grooves in its bark</p><p>leaves stretch showing their veins,</p><p>while water droplets reflect light</p><p><br /></p><p>Curving round its extensive branches</p><p>squirrels scurry to their leafy nests</p><p>whispers of the dusk draw near</p><p>all shadows from the tree disappear</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Trapped</b></p><p><br /></p><p>I'm like tiny bugs</p><p>caught in a spiderweb</p><p><br /></p><p>Mind trapped in a</p><p>body that can’t move</p><p><br /></p><p>Taking time to heal</p><p>within this brokenness</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Feelings After Survival</b></p><p><br /></p><p>After crash landing in an open minefield</p><p>I’m losing the struggle to regain survival,</p><p>as shadows cross my path to take me up</p><p>waiting for the hardest hours to come</p><p><br /></p><p>Unable to bear the demons I face,</p><p>whispers of the air pass through me</p><p>tiny voices share secrets from hidden pasts,</p><p>opening canals like passageways afar</p><p><br /></p><p>Subtle changes behind pain and agony</p><p>realizing there’s more behind the masks,</p><p>that I put on creating false representations</p><p>immersing myself beyond recognition</p><p><br /></p><p>Now intertwined like the roots of a tree,</p><p>sinking further down feeling grounded</p><p>connecting myself deep into the earth</p><p>anchored keeping me straight and solid</p><div><br /></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-51958416926309281542023-03-29T22:15:00.000-05:002023-03-29T22:15:11.539-05:00Everett<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnkGherZNFNuF2lilaK55HvvtsZBzh9R_k9_C5DuXubdNfCleAeylbKOgyP2yghj-aby6xqOlyLJOB_jbrtX3bfQmkbVTeBpu9eRcfThpqiQ-yFCss1nqiL_IAZIaOXTUrYbC7fbyVv4oZmjbbtyvqX0IXVtdjUabi6nFQ4Qbqm2rjQWHt7Q7WOdv/s640/Everet%20in%20stand.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnkGherZNFNuF2lilaK55HvvtsZBzh9R_k9_C5DuXubdNfCleAeylbKOgyP2yghj-aby6xqOlyLJOB_jbrtX3bfQmkbVTeBpu9eRcfThpqiQ-yFCss1nqiL_IAZIaOXTUrYbC7fbyVv4oZmjbbtyvqX0IXVtdjUabi6nFQ4Qbqm2rjQWHt7Q7WOdv/s320/Everet%20in%20stand.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everett before I got him</td></tr></tbody></table><p>After I had to put Brody down, I knew I would want another
companion dog. The question in my mind was always “when.” It was more down to
if an opportunity: fell into my lap like Brody did. He didn’t make the cut to
be a show dog. I was talking to the breeder of Brody, and she said she would
put some “feelers” out to see if the same type of opportunity would happen.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Her daughter, Audra, knew a breeder that had a girl puppy
that they were already going to get trained as a therapy dog. The plans for her
were to take her to a nursing home to see how she did around that type of
environment. When I heard this, I immediately wanted to learn more.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work out because when they brought her to the nursing
home, she was deadly afraid of wheelchairs. It’s hard to say whether she would
be afraid as time went by, since she was only 13 weeks old.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A couple weeks later, Audra knew another breeder that had a
litter of puppies that were around 8 weeks old (this was 5 weeks ago.) Before
having them go to families, they had to get tested to see if they would make
the cut to be show dogs. Out of the litter, only a couple of them “potentially”
could be show dogs, and the rest could go to homes. After learning about my
situation, the breeder with the pups had one of them that is very loyal,
independent, and smart.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOaLm0Q305OgLlC35F6YDI8lOlWbuUYUZNrU6C8kJAHj9vKHuQAPgn3glZnf4pT5wKBTXnA2MhQZPtLtd5FjkC-huYxp3Fo0MSKmj0_qMFYs7FAwbivqGLN54Qdvr9xbWwVAmbHndBSLIMO6dRpTT12ZwDbIMCdz9f6gw8srhgs-xGBZ0vIxloJMe/s2016/Everett%20on%20my%20lap.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOaLm0Q305OgLlC35F6YDI8lOlWbuUYUZNrU6C8kJAHj9vKHuQAPgn3glZnf4pT5wKBTXnA2MhQZPtLtd5FjkC-huYxp3Fo0MSKmj0_qMFYs7FAwbivqGLN54Qdvr9xbWwVAmbHndBSLIMO6dRpTT12ZwDbIMCdz9f6gw8srhgs-xGBZ0vIxloJMe/s320/Everett%20on%20my%20lap.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>I was instantly entertained by the idea of getting a new
puppy. After figuring out the logistics, I decided to get him. His name is Everett,
and he’s as cute as ever! I decided to keep the name, since he responds to it.
He went to a trainer’s house for 10 days (a week from Wednesday.) The trainer
brought him to my house on Saturday. Since he’s been here, he’s been learning a
whole new routine.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">His favorite thing to do is give kisses! He loves lap time
with me and is even getting used to my wheelchair. I have taken him for one walk
with me but haven’t hooked him up to my wheelchair, like I did Brody as he
hasn’t quite got the concept of walking on a leash. Also, I don’t want to run
him over either. Although Sandy has taken him for walks several times although he
kind of just walks all over the place! Since he’s only 13 weeks old, he has a
lot of learning yet to do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s going to be trial and error for the next few weeks as
we both learn a new routine. He is so sweet and very loving. He’s working on
“crate time” and basic commands. Each day is a new one, and as long as I’m
consistent, I know he’ll be a fantastic companion dog for me.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNtTr7nlsqzBQGwQHIq91fgHOVtgrj1E6trp7wRILPqZtZHKZZA4HdzIq3wOexpwsxqxcxKfDcX0rJbdDh20LFD-0muQk5fHLZPv-psD2D-09YskTpvqCyweFO5v4CNzbXr5lhiyG29ozWuX-PO6QyU_ed3VrCu23xCmVrmixU_ZXVB8TLak7r0CqT/s2016/Picture%20of%20Everett.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNtTr7nlsqzBQGwQHIq91fgHOVtgrj1E6trp7wRILPqZtZHKZZA4HdzIq3wOexpwsxqxcxKfDcX0rJbdDh20LFD-0muQk5fHLZPv-psD2D-09YskTpvqCyweFO5v4CNzbXr5lhiyG29ozWuX-PO6QyU_ed3VrCu23xCmVrmixU_ZXVB8TLak7r0CqT/s320/Picture%20of%20Everett.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhB4eoE5t-48FQFdb0QiHJoFNB-qo21izf10BDDm20OYy9kx2Oj_riRWEzVEl-gfQEE9k0iSXo4mJCZV26bsQpZfnWTK3LoErPsUvNmnF8AE60BEcgWxlAt0KmnOKSnHHjFZ7el7sUtDMuTFm1lGRhNnLWsZmUYdYiYtUAuWCffxLngnT9FtfqIxy/s2016/Everett%20on%20ground.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1512" data-original-width="2016" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhB4eoE5t-48FQFdb0QiHJoFNB-qo21izf10BDDm20OYy9kx2Oj_riRWEzVEl-gfQEE9k0iSXo4mJCZV26bsQpZfnWTK3LoErPsUvNmnF8AE60BEcgWxlAt0KmnOKSnHHjFZ7el7sUtDMuTFm1lGRhNnLWsZmUYdYiYtUAuWCffxLngnT9FtfqIxy/s320/Everett%20on%20ground.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">One interesting fact is that he’s related to Brody. Brody’s dad is his great-great-grandfather! Somehow his breeder figured it out. He also acts like him too, by just lounging over his bed like the picture above. I'm going to get him registered as a companion dog so I can take him everywhere.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-12218099570276911372023-02-14T14:04:00.005-06:002023-02-14T21:43:34.654-06:00Happy Valentine's Day<p>Valentine’s Day originated as a Christian feast day honoring a martyr named Valentine. Through later folk traditions, it’s become a significant cultural and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world. On Valentine’s Day, people on average usually spend close to $200 per person. It’s expected that Americans plan to spend nearly $26 billion today. If money could buy love, couples might have the most successful romantic relationships.</p><p>Around 145 billion Valentines cards are exchanged every year. Even kids in classrooms exchange Valentine’s Day cards. I remember when I was in grade school, handing out cards to every kid in my classroom and eating candied hearts with words on them. I’m sure that still exists to this day. That’s along with heart-shaped boxes with all sorts of different flavors of chocolate pieces inside. If there isn’t a paper that tells you what’s inside, you need to guess which flavor each one is by tasting them.</p><p>Although it’s only celebrated by about 50% of Americans, that’s still enough for places to keep producing cards and gifts for it. Even fresh-cut flowers are given as love for someone. Every year, my mom even gets me Valentine’s Day cards, along with putting sweet treats for my nurses and PCAs. I don’t eat sweets anymore; I prefer salty foods instead. Along with me not craving sweets, I’m allergic to pollen so flowers are out of the picture. </p><p>Thoughtfulness trumps splashing the cash. What does your sweetheart love? Kind intentions. Most people prefer a gift that shows thoughtfulness and an understanding of the recipient’s favorites, hobbies, and preferences. You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on jewelry to show your loved one they are priceless to you. Be mindful this year and think about the best way to show your affection.</p><p>I do want to shout out a happy Valentine’s Day to my love, Jay. Also, to the many others who celebrate today.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-12096571843470261212023-01-30T21:17:00.002-06:002023-01-30T21:17:21.416-06:00Computer Brain Chip<p> Synchron says it's the first to implant a human brain-computer interface in the US</p><p>According to an <a href="https://news.yahoo.com/first-brain-computer-interface-implant-in-us-163756888.html" target="_blank">article from Yahoo news</a>, “Brain-computer interfaces have become a practical (if limited) reality in the US. Synchron says it has become the first in the country to implant a BCI in a human patient. Doctors in New York's Mount Sinai West implanted the company's Stentrode in the motor cortex of a participant in Synchron's COMMAND trial, which aims to gauge the usefulness and safety of BCIs for providing hands-free device control to people with severe paralysis. Ideally, technology like Stentrode will offer independence to people who want to email, text, and otherwise handle digital tasks that others take for granted.</p><p>Surgeons installed the implant using an endovascular procedure that avoids the intrusiveness of open-brain surgery by going through the jugular vein. The operation went "extremely well" and let the patient return home 48 hours later, according to Synchron. An ongoing Australian trial has also proven successful so far, with four patients still safe a year after receiving their implants.</p><p>It may take a long time before doctors can offer Synchron's BCIs to patients. The company received FDA approval for human trials in July 2021, and it's still expanding the COMMAND trial as of this writing. Still, the US procedure represents a significant step toward greater autonomy for people with paralysis. It also represents a competitive victory — Elon Musk's Neuralink has yet to receive FDA permission for its own implant.”</p><p>This is exciting news for someone like me, who requires the use of technology for everyday processes (including using my computer.) I depend on speech recognition software to write, browse the web, control household activities, etc. This would also give people in my situation more independence, as they wouldn’t have to rely on others to help them. There might come a day when this implant may become available to the public. </p><p>It’s an interesting concept. Technology is always evolving and advancing. Nothing is ever going to stay the same. Companies are always working on different and easier ways to do things. According to an article on the Tech Evaluate website, “technology is evolving so fast because of a phenomenon known as Accelerating Change. Each technological improvement can create the next, stronger generations of technology at a faster rate. As each generation of technology is better than the last, it builds new technology faster.”</p><p>Ultimately, I believe massive, future technological changes are still yet to come. With every new advancement comes an easier way to do things. For someone who’s life is dependent on so many other people to do things for them, the more independence that’s out there, the easier it will be to do things themselves.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-30301250236913664492023-01-29T14:17:00.000-06:002023-01-29T14:17:28.682-06:00My Little Buddy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh53fDBE-IXOqU73OepFmVZ8a6zsVsKLry9RaWbqNYmcsmSw55CsPZ9TjHyxxSAXj_tTxeP4wwGIniqkxDS5UON-5scTG_E_WCdS3ttasUf2ZnloheG0zYscZ4dziVMJ-VweTzL34lbxZasGYtdL_UQoypOvsCOy_Pu_wtTTAqcNVqmjsslcIm6n_Bq/s640/Brody%20with%20toy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh53fDBE-IXOqU73OepFmVZ8a6zsVsKLry9RaWbqNYmcsmSw55CsPZ9TjHyxxSAXj_tTxeP4wwGIniqkxDS5UON-5scTG_E_WCdS3ttasUf2ZnloheG0zYscZ4dziVMJ-VweTzL34lbxZasGYtdL_UQoypOvsCOy_Pu_wtTTAqcNVqmjsslcIm6n_Bq/s320/Brody%20with%20toy.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p>A week from this past Thursday, we had to put Brody down. Around 6 AM that morning, my night nurse and aunt Sandy, both heard him making a couple of loud yelping noises. When they went to look at him in his bed, he was still sleeping, so they thought he just had a dream. When it came time for breakfast, he didn’t go over to eat it. Later when I went over to look at him, he didn’t look at me or wag his tail, which was very odd.</p><p>Sandy took him out of his bed, and he was walking very slowly and side to side. She looked up some symptoms, and one that stood out was possibly a stroke. We decided to have him go to the vet since he wasn’t acting like himself. They took some blood work and did an ultrasound on him. About 45 minutes later, she brought him back and said, “it is in good.”</p><p>When I saw him, I could see the pain and sadness on his face. Sandy put Brody on my lap then let me know what the vet said. Apparently, he had many tumors throughout his body and in the morning one of them ruptured; from that point there was internal bleeding, and by the blood work they could tell that he had cancer everywhere. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1odgvXZL0EvfH41wfgSBvt5zecOT1Mi05nqHo3xKGQTjjD6bSlYdJVf2CsuOeJZesFDzU-0PIg1-KRVnV6k3gJXyp-boq1UJfR7b5hLY14Egvn1iUbCjWyddsehl7bCJf86xRJe2OoV5_XhBERY3QN1BzMjqAkSA-AnBo-slM0fXa8s8Q-3lOrGl5/s640/Last%20photo%20of%20Brody.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1odgvXZL0EvfH41wfgSBvt5zecOT1Mi05nqHo3xKGQTjjD6bSlYdJVf2CsuOeJZesFDzU-0PIg1-KRVnV6k3gJXyp-boq1UJfR7b5hLY14Egvn1iUbCjWyddsehl7bCJf86xRJe2OoV5_XhBERY3QN1BzMjqAkSA-AnBo-slM0fXa8s8Q-3lOrGl5/w200-h150/Last%20photo%20of%20Brody.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><p>Sandy told me the options the vet told her: I could have him home with me, but he probably would only last through the night or there is a medicine he could take where he may live 3 or 4 days. I chose the 3rd option, to put him down right away because I did not want him to suffer any longer. </p><p>The role Brody played in my life as a companion dog, causes me to grieve, not only for the loss of him, but his emotional support. Adjusting to the fact that I’ll never spend time with him again is painful, and I know it will take a lot of time to adjust. He was a special dog; we shared a bond and affection like no other. He is also missed by my family, caregivers, and everyone’s life in which he touched.</p><p>It’s taken me some time to write this blog post because I’m still grieving. His presence in our house is greatly missed. I was in such a routine with him that I’ve caught myself during certain times. I still look at the time at 5 PM, his suppertime. I still want to call him when I’m going from room to room. I also know it will hit me even harder when springtime comes and it’s warm enough to go for a “walk and roll.” </p><p>I know there will never be another “Brody”, but at some point, I know I’ll come across another dog to be a companion to me. I miss my little buddy so much! </p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p>A poem I wrote about Brody:</p><p>My Companion Dog</p><div><div>My mom takes me for walks</div><div>pulling on the leash to makes her wheels go faster</div><div>I’m dependent on her to give me affection and protection</div><div>I look into her blue eyes, hopelessly devoted</div><div>she is my family</div><div><br /></div><div>I’m a dog, I’m fun, all I want to do is have fun </div><div>when she is sad or crying, she really messes with my mojo </div><div>That’s when I like to jump all over her, lay on her lap </div><div>comforting her until she gets over it and takes me outside</div><div>for the most part, I love the simple pleasures of life </div><div><br /></div><div>One thing about me is I don’t judge </div><div>if she makes a mistake, I forgive her</div><div>if she forgets something, it’s no big deal</div><div>when she has doubts, I will politely disagree</div><div>I see her for what she really is, pure awesome!</div><div><br /></div><div>I know how to make her feel guilty</div><div>I just sit in front of her or at the window </div><div>she knows what I want, mostly some attention</div><div>I know how to speak English, just not verbally</div><div>sometimes I choose to ignore her </div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite thing to do right now is sleep</div><div>I’m most comfortable tucked in tight places</div><div>I also like to sleep in my bed, on the couch or </div><div>floor with something covering my face </div><div>The more hidden I am the better</div></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggRONjyNQw1gZaXgSCezu1wjokfy1MS202YOIop4nLanbofFvi_P4h0Dw4UQu32DA0eFRLPTZi2pFw-98IqLsPRgph9Kgu1ChMcGHd1gFv-eBhwuy-IzcqSzCwCm2VYZyVt9ccDWhZUzEluMl_HNGhmpnVAx4UZ48HH5Nrgn5GByNYPw-4_tQ4FWJv/s640/Brody%20in%20bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggRONjyNQw1gZaXgSCezu1wjokfy1MS202YOIop4nLanbofFvi_P4h0Dw4UQu32DA0eFRLPTZi2pFw-98IqLsPRgph9Kgu1ChMcGHd1gFv-eBhwuy-IzcqSzCwCm2VYZyVt9ccDWhZUzEluMl_HNGhmpnVAx4UZ48HH5Nrgn5GByNYPw-4_tQ4FWJv/s320/Brody%20in%20bed.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">His favorite spot on the couch</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLX4rudQJrRGKTkaDRWmsf3jBV1tK1p8Yc6d1-qb-tn7LWyepn9vhJpbTNNTkpMybb8PoRCUx5MscNq4LV6gN9iAaDew1nIQkR9GHX_KsNoja_RgENVAytHgYb73iKKjZ3-ykWm-HyfX2OeJY9q50zeTRf95pb91XzY0QTMNeC8fjOm-qGSpuWm97Z/s640/Brody%20red%20sweater.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLX4rudQJrRGKTkaDRWmsf3jBV1tK1p8Yc6d1-qb-tn7LWyepn9vhJpbTNNTkpMybb8PoRCUx5MscNq4LV6gN9iAaDew1nIQkR9GHX_KsNoja_RgENVAytHgYb73iKKjZ3-ykWm-HyfX2OeJY9q50zeTRf95pb91XzY0QTMNeC8fjOm-qGSpuWm97Z/s320/Brody%20red%20sweater.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brody loved fresh laundry!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiahlfZ8aSUX_fChFsJjBLbSvtR-QMJPlbB88nWhrvZb0apZVU-DpT40e_quxteUN9qaBW7vNHidPIXeYFLsV6w7fHZr8PYui3syvYo4kMbD8j5TLB_Fl7ZYkW4cZLddZ-ov__oO7aTPw97kX9NSe4MFA1tGXraT7uPj320_l1HCjTXgv7iMt87s4S8/s640/Brody%20looking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiahlfZ8aSUX_fChFsJjBLbSvtR-QMJPlbB88nWhrvZb0apZVU-DpT40e_quxteUN9qaBW7vNHidPIXeYFLsV6w7fHZr8PYui3syvYo4kMbD8j5TLB_Fl7ZYkW4cZLddZ-ov__oO7aTPw97kX9NSe4MFA1tGXraT7uPj320_l1HCjTXgv7iMt87s4S8/s320/Brody%20looking.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And his beds!</td></tr></tbody></table>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-31049407544027201892022-12-26T21:24:00.000-06:002022-12-26T21:24:09.316-06:00Happy Holidays<p>This past week, I’ve been snowed in. I also had to cancel going to ABLE because of the weather. There was a huge blizzard Wednesday and Thursday along with cold temperatures. So, I’ve been hiding inside. The last time I went out when it was this cold, my tubes expanded and started popping off everywhere possible. Plus, since I have a humidifier connected to my ventilator that heats the air I breathe, it leaves moisture in my tubes. If the water drops get too cold, they form icicles!</p><p>Merry Christmas to all! Christmas Eve we were supposed to have my sister and her family over for dinner with a meal of prime rib. Although she hadn’t been feeling well for a few days and ended up testing positive for COVID. I felt so bad. Especially because Christmas is a time for gathering. My mom, Sandy, and I ate grilled cheese and tomato soup. A first for Christmas Eve dinner!</p><p>Midafternoon on Christmas day Kristen’s boyfriend, Anthony, brought my 2 nieces over to unwrap some presents. Kristen hopped on video using my mom’s echo show and was able to watch. Good thing for technology these days. Later, for dinner we ate lasagna with my other aunt Julie, her husband Pat from Duluth, and my grandma and grandpa. It was a nice weekend visiting family and celebrating Christmas.</p><p>Today, I played a couple rounds of yahtzee with my niece (I got her the game for Christmas.) She caught on quickly; I haven’t played in a long time. We did have the meal that we were going to have Christmas Eve, only my sister still wasn’t feeling well. I am hoping she feels better soon, and we can all be together. For now, I plan on going to ABLE this week, since the temperatures are going to be in the 30’s.</p><p>I hope all of you had a lovely holiday.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-39360521302641993902022-12-20T13:59:00.005-06:002022-12-20T13:59:47.766-06:00Accomplishments<p>I’m heavily involved in the spinal cord injury world, as my focus is to share information about research going on, resources for information, and creating content for others to learn more about what it’s like as a SCI survivor. Hence the reason why I write blog posts and volunteer so often. As in my last post about becoming an ambassador, I am an advocate for people with SCI and others within the community.</p><p>As an ambassador, MSKCT has provided me with a wide range of free, #researchbased resources to help #SCI survivors, family members, and others looking for information, including a toolkit for my position. To learn about the ways #SCI impacts depression, bowel function, sexuality, and more, visit https://msktc.org/sci. You can also learn how to become an ambassador if you visit their website, without adding SCI at the end.</p><p>My mom and I recently did a video interview with the Morton Cure Paralysis Fund (MCPF). “In 1995, Peter Morton broke his neck in a bicycle accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down and unable to breathe without a ventilator… Now, twenty six years later, with the help of dedicated donors and volunteers, MCPF has raised over $5 million for cutting-edge research in the United States and around the world.”</p><p>Devastated by the tragic accident, friends turned their hurt into hope. With little more than a dream, That All May Walk Again, they launched a small golf tournament in Morton’s hometown to raise funds for spinal cord injury research—and the Morton Cure Paralysis Fund (MCPF) was born.</p><p>Lately, they’ve been doing podcasts on all different platforms, interviewing others with SCI and people revolving around. During our video, my mom and I answered questions related to and about our experience after my spinal cord injury. It recently launched on YouTube and their website. You can view it by clicking on this <a href="https://youtu.be/DRCTEi048s8" target="_blank">link</a>.</p><p>My biggest focus right now is on finishing my memoir for others to read. I’m hoping that it helps people along with sharing my story with others. Since I’ve been writing poetry, it’s been an easy way for me to develop my writing skills. It helps with creating in-depth content, metaphors, images and more. I suppose that’s why I haven’t finished it yet. I have been so into writing poems that I’ve kind of put my memoir aside. It’s difficult to not write poems, since I subscribe to the website.</p><p>Jenni</p><div><br /></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-76244264515709731292022-11-24T13:54:00.000-06:002022-11-24T13:54:01.241-06:00A Way to Fill My Cup<p> If you know me, you’d know that I love helping others. This includes, but is not limited to motivational speaking, sharing my story with others, volunteering, etc. The Pandemic put a real damper on my situation as a quadriplegic paralyzed from the neck down. Aside from my spinal cord injury, the “stay-at-home” order was one of the most difficult times in my life and had a profound effect on me.</p><p>I know for a fact I’m not the only one. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), “Plenty of us became more anxious; but for some COVID-19 has sparked or amplified much more serious mental health problems. A great number of people have reported psychological distress and symptoms of depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress.” </p><p>I tried everything to make myself useful in a time when all I was able to do to connect with others was on my computer, video or over the phone. That’s when I decided to find ways to help people through the web. I searched many different places but didn’t really find anything that suited my capabilities. Other than being able to blog, write poetry, and work on my memoir, it’s been difficult these past couple of years. Even now that the order has lifted, I haven’t reconnected with friends or gone out many places.</p><p>Recently, I was on the web searching again for different things to do relating to spinal cord injuries. I came across this website called Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (otherwise known as MSKTC). Within their website, were various amounts of information for people with SCI’s, TBI’s, and Burns. After reading some of the information, I was floored at how much knowledge and help they had for people in my situation and alike. </p><p>I also saw that I could become a “SCI Ambassador” to help people with spinal cord injuries. I had to fill out some information about myself and complete an application. This was exactly the type of thing I was interested in doing. As stated on their website, below is a more in-depth description of what they’re looking for:</p><p>“Are you passionate about helping people living with spinal cord injury (SCI) and their families? This could be the perfect role for you! The goal of the Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center (MSKTC) Ambassadors Program is to inform, empower, and help individuals with SCI live well. We are looking for people living with SCI, their families, and those who support them to serve as ambassadors. MSKTC ambassadors will actively promote and share free, evidence-based resources from the MSTKC to help people with SCI live well when interacting with MSKTC's audience and the wider SCI community.”</p><p>After reading this, I applied for the position immediately. Then I set up a Zoom visit with them. My main mission is informing others about how they can help others by using their resources. It’s great that I have platforms (including my blog and help of others) to spread the word about MSKTC and all the help they can provide for people in need. If you browse through their website, there are many “user-friendly resources… available in a variety of formats such as printable PDF documents, videos, and slideshows.”</p><p>I hope you can check out their website for information to not only use as a resource for yourself, but pass on to your friends, family, or others in need. An easy way is by sharing this blog post or their website by clicking on their website address: <a href="https://msktc.org/">https://msktc.org/</a></p><p>Jenni</p><p>If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me or contact MSKTC for more info.</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-67813740730993668142022-11-01T13:38:00.000-05:002022-11-01T13:38:17.635-05:00Two Decades<p>After any change in life, there is an adjustment period. It’s how we adapt or become used to the changes that occurred. Without a doubt, experiencing a spinal cord injury is a challenging and new situation. When it happens, adjusting to living with SCI, can be hard; especially when trying to put your life back in order. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it although continuing to alter changes in life can be similar.</p><p>Going home is a major step in adjusting to life after SCI. It can be exciting to get back to the comforts of home. It can also be scary if you are unsure of what to expect once you get there. Having to get used to a “new normal” daily routine takes time. In my situation, I had to learn what it’s like to have others take care of me (not having as much independence as before.) </p><p>I often say “it feels like I’m doing things for the first time” as I learn how to do activities differently. That feeling has faded as I worked through problems and figured out the best way to manage my daily routines. Despite experiencing a mix of emotions, I try to keep my mind occupied since I’m no longer able to physically do things.</p><p>It’s been two decades since the car accident that forever changed my future took place. I know I’ve written on my blog about positivity and hope, some of the very feelings I needed to thrive. Although at the time, I was very uncertain as to what the future would hold for me. Thankfully, I had friends and family supporting me, helping along the way. </p><p>I chose a life of happiness, not wanting to live my life with immense sadness, anger, or depression. I can’t speak for others who experience traumatic events. Only how my life played out and thereafter. I feel very fortunate to have people by my side, helping me throughout the way. Although, there were moments after in which I had to take time to heal my emotional equilibrium.</p><p>I do believe that everything happens for a reason, no matter how challenging or difficult it is. I’ve always felt that there was a reason why I survived. Maybe it was to help people in my situation or open someone’s eyes to what it’s like living with a disability. Sharing my story with others, whether it be using my blog or motivational speaking can be a way to express my feelings. </p><p>Whatever it may be, I’m glad that I did. Life is short, so I try to do the best I can at living it to the fullest. Don’t take things for granted, you never know what can happen.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p>Newest poems:</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Living Life</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p>Striking my inner being</p><p>like lightning bolts</p><p>times of a troublesome past</p><p>paralyzed body no longer breathing</p><p>trying to heal from the inside out</p><p>realizing life is worth living</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Stress in Life</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p>Nerves press firmly against my cortex as</p><p>boiling blood gushes through my veins</p><p>clouding my judgment,</p><p>clogging paths to relief</p><p><br /></p><p>Frontal lobes on fire</p><p>my eyes water with fury</p><p>twisting and turning thoughts</p><p>scrambling my brain leaving it to rot</p><p><br /></p><p>Struggling to maintain composure</p><p>bumps in the road create challenges and obstacles</p><p>stress of becoming paralyzed leaves emotional scars</p><p>slowly emptying all that’s left within me</p><p><br /></p><p>Question everything that’s happened</p><p>How? Why? What now?</p><p>the day is ending</p><p>pain explodes beyond measure</p><p><br /></p><p>Courage finally intervenes</p><p>willingness to survive has arrived</p><p>despite past feelings of doubt</p><p>my mind finally is free</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-40110452889943122742022-10-18T21:15:00.001-05:002022-10-18T21:15:25.728-05:00What have I been up to?<p>Hello everyone!</p><p>I have lots to share. The biggest news is that I got my cast off my leg last week. I went in and my orthopedic doctor took my fourth cast off, then I got an x-ray. She said that it’s healed enough that if I was walking, she would recommend me to start bearing weight on it. Hopefully nothing else will happen to it or any other of my bones that would cause setback at ABLE. I’m going back in about a month to get another x-ray to see how it’s healing.</p><p>If you’re reading this and are not from Minnesota, the weather here has been cold for October. It’s supposed to be fall, although it was so cold this past week that it snowed. Good thing it only lasted the morning and then warmed up during the middle of the day for it to melt. I wasn’t taking Brody out much because of the weather and the cold, except for today.</p><p>I’m still perfecting my poetry writing (thus the reason why I haven’t blogged much lately.) I also haven’t written much for my book. I believe the imagery and metaphors I’m using will help in my book. My mom and I did an interview today for the Morton Cure Paralysis Fund and it will be a YouTube video coming soon. In my last post, I shared their first video. I’ll post the link on my blog when it becomes available.</p><p>I’m hoping to write more blog posts about other things than just updates about me. </p><p>Jenni</p><p>Here are a few more poems I’ve written:</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Hiding Behind the Clouds</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p>Two clouds pass another on a wisp of wind</p><p>revealing a ball of fire showcasing its rays</p><p>casting shadows on the earth below its plain</p><p><br /></p><p>Moving swiftly, beautiful, and bright</p><p>diverging left then right without a word said</p><p>peeking into different lives from far away</p><p><br /></p><p>Unlocking the key to an ancient mystery</p><p>accessing countless times of troubled pasts</p><p>sifting through a treasure trove of memories</p><p><br /></p><p>Holding visions while trusting processes</p><p>powered by motivation to seek answers</p><p>the two clouds produce inspiration from above</p><p><br /></p><p><b>A Scene from Heaven</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p>Numerous colors paint the forests’ floor,</p><p>as hummingbirds flutter in the distance</p><p>and frogs croak on sunlit lily pads</p><p>warm breezes wander between flowers</p><p><br /></p><p>Wind whizzes around dark tree trunks</p><p>shadows appear amongst overhanging limbs</p><p>between the kiss of falling leaves</p><p>glimpses of patchy sky seen breaks through</p><p><br /></p><p>The vibrant trees stick to their boundaries</p><p>casting show stopping colors on the flowing river</p><p>that rumbles through the path it’s created</p><p>picking up every evidence of being there</p><p><br /></p><p><b>If October never existed</b></p><p><br /></p><p>No days so still, so kindly sincere</p><p>such reverential quietness in the air</p><p>Voices so crisp with integrity</p><p><br /></p><p>Leaves switch to yellow, orange, and red</p><p>Gold in its pocket full of recollections</p><p>reminding me of ambient occurrences</p><p><br /></p><p>Times so pleasant as a fine October</p><p>if it never existed, I wouldn’t be alive</p><p>as my birthday lands on the 19th</p><p><br /></p><p>When the light is sweet and heavy</p><p>permanence takes its bitter shape</p><p>folding amongst natures hugs</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-13940208327251465322022-08-07T21:18:00.007-05:002022-08-07T21:18:54.693-05:00SCI Video<p>"It's here! The Morton Cure Paralysis Fund is happy to present Spinal Cast, Episode 1 featuring Dr. Ann Parr discussing the amazing spinal cord injury research taking place in her lab. Click below to watch it on YouTube or search for Spinal Cast on your favorite podcast platform."</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AQ_EYCa2x8" target="_blank">YouTube video</a></p><p>I received this in an email from The Morton Cure Paralysis. It's very interesting how they talk about Spinal Cord Injury patients, research, and implantation of the device. It's about 20 minutes long, but is worth listening to.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-19582568573143119712022-07-30T22:02:00.002-05:002022-07-30T22:02:37.439-05:00Another Update<p>I’m still recovering from my spiral fracture on my right leg. I have gone to the orthopedic doctor three times so far since it happened. The first appointment was an x-ray and to put my cast on, then they wanted me to return in two weeks. The second one they cut my cast off, took an x-ray and said it needed a few more weeks. So, they put another cast on and wanted me to come back in three weeks. When I did, they took my cast off and took another x-ray, and determined it hadn’t healed at all from when I first fractured it. </p><p>They put a cast on again and told me to come back in another 3 ½ weeks. It’s been a little over a week since then, so I’m not sure what to think when the next appointment comes around. Hopefully it’s healed at least some, because the next option is to put pins in to hold it together, so it heals faster. I’m not looking forward to that, if that’s the case. I’ve been modifying ABLE avoiding exercises that use my legs.</p><p>I also have been using a lift to get me out and back in my chair instead of manual transfers. When I first started, and they told me they were going to do a manual transfer, I was scared. I’d never transferred that way before I have only used a lift. It was going good until my last two injuries on my legs (bursitis in my right knee, and the spiral fracture I’m still healing from.) Using a lift does take longer than manual transfers, although it’s a safety route.</p><p>I’m praying for no more injuries! Other than ABLE, I’ve been getting outside as much as possible. Unfortunately, Brody isn’t feeling all that great. He wasn’t eating well for a few days and wouldn’t let anyone get close to his mouth. He went into the vet to get his teeth looked at. They said he has a lot of tartar, gingivitis, a loose tooth, cracked teeth etc. So, because of his bad teeth. In September going to have surgery and have multiple teeth pulled along with a deep clean. We’ve now been soaking his food in water, and he’s been loving that.</p><p>Now when I take him out for walks, he doesn’t like to walk the whole way. When he stops going and just looks at me, I put him on my lap. He lays down and then I go as far as I want! Although, the temperature outside has been quite warm and humid lately. It’s hard to go too far and I try to stick to the shade, so I don’t get to warm. That’s one thing that’s difficult about being a quad; when it’s cold I’m cold and when it’s hot I’m hot. </p><p>Since we are approaching August, usually temperature in Minnesota only gets warmer. My favorite time of year is fall, not just because of the weather being cooler, but the leaf color changes are nice to look at. My sister and niece, Avery have birthdays this month. I always look forward to buying things for other people, especially for holidays.</p><p>As I said before, I've been on a binge of writing poems. I write one almost every day, mostly for contests on the site: <a href="https://allpoetry.com/Jtay" target="_blank">All Poetry</a> you can check out all the poems I've written by clicking on the link before this. Although others I've just posted for people to read. I thought I would share more of what I've written within the past couple months. </p><p><br /></p><p><b>Feelings of Hope</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p>Letting my emotions flow within my veins, </p><p>like water seeping through cracks in wood.</p><p>Enlightening me to share my sense of calm</p><p>with others until dawn meets the horizon.</p><p><br /></p><p>Silence echoes across open land in sight,</p><p>while my mind reaches a height of stillness.</p><p>Beneath my feet feeling single grains of sand</p><p>navigating their way through open valleys.</p><p><br /></p><p>The wind finally rests as thoughts of healing</p><p>begin to enter the realm surrounding my being.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Change</b></p><p><br /></p><p>Within a moments time, </p><p>my body changed like a </p><p>caterpillar transforming</p><p>into a striking butterfly.</p><p><br /></p><p>Life throws curveballs</p><p>letting me know how much</p><p>it can push itself, until</p><p>my breaking point. For the</p><p>instances that I am lonely</p><p>are far too many to count.</p><p><br /></p><p>There are times in my past</p><p>where I felt like giving up,</p><p>because it’s easier than dealing</p><p>with being paralyzed from the </p><p>neck down, on a ventilator.</p><p><br /></p><p>Like a puzzle, I just pick up</p><p>pieces of my broken body,</p><p>slowly putting them back</p><p>together. Realizing that my time</p><p>here on earth is worth living</p><p>to its fullest. Despite my troubles</p><p>where I’ve slipped and fell, the </p><p>path to my destination is clear.</p><p><br /></p><p>My spirit flickers a faint light,</p><p>like a candle in a slight wind.</p><p>Since my near-death experience,</p><p>I now realize that the loneliness</p><p>within my mind has dwindled.</p><p><br /></p><p>Changing pages has given </p><p>me a chance to gain confidence,</p><p>preserving a future to survive.</p><p>By stepping out from behind the</p><p>shadows, I grant myself permission</p><p>to share my story with others.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Breathe In</b></p><p><br /></p><p>Within two decades of moments lies dangerous</p><p>thoughts of reacting to a future unknown</p><p>Emotional insides twist with anticipation as feelings</p><p>inside my paralyzed body seize on-demand</p><p><br /></p><p>Affecting my ability to move amongst beings</p><p>as every effort beyond has a cause with no feeling</p><p>Showing loneliness upon difficult times of struggle</p><p>like being on a ship with no lifeboat aboard</p><p><br /></p><p>In spite unimaginable living in shadows of pain</p><p>stricken underneath me like light turning to dark</p><p>I now realize my past hatred of a time troubled accident</p><p>has dissipated into the air I breathe through my vent</p><p><br /></p><p>Reminding me of myself despite my tight grasp</p><p>binding down at this moment however looking afar</p><p>What I’ve now become although whom I will be later</p><p>surrounding happiness above distant thunder clouds</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Springtime Wonders</b></p><p><br /></p><p>Blue sky shows above as the rays of sun shines on my face </p><p>feelings of glow as the wind whispers in my ear ever </p><p>flowing through the trees as the next season appears</p><p>all around as soothing scents of lilacs, hyacinths, and daffodils</p><p>start to grow in the ground and buds began showing</p><p><br /></p><p>it is as if the world is telling me to be silent </p><p>while the red cardinals flyby singing to each other </p><p>with their sweet sounds of whistles flow amongst</p><p>my shoulders become relaxed as I feel a sense of calm</p><p>through the change of seasons while white winter wonderland</p><p><br /></p><p>begins slowly disappearing as the temperature raises </p><p>melting the snow away beginning to showcase spring </p><p>blades of grass poking through the old crackled dried up</p><p>dead brown leaves laying in a bed below from last fall </p><p>all seasons showing their stories right in front of my blue eyes </p><p><br /></p><p>the smell of petrichor produced by wet rocks after</p><p>raindrops fizzing as they splashed down caring an aroma</p><p>fills the air which makes me sneeze because of allergies </p><p>although the light breeze slowly floats through leading it away </p><p>while new spotted white fawns begin to show themselves </p><p><br /></p><p>their mothers protecting them when strangers come near </p><p>showing them the ways around how their life is supposed to be </p><p>while dad with pointed racks of antlers watches for predators </p><p>that come near as the snow-covered water frozen from </p><p>low temperatures, starts to melt opening-up as water begins</p><p><br /></p><p>flowing making space for green mallards and geese finding </p><p>their mates, other animals able to drink swiftly as the sun gets higher </p><p>opening sky as its warming the nature in every corner </p><p>the crickets make their calling, the bees start buzzing </p><p>the black spotted red ladybugs land on my arm tickling me</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-8023513962968800132022-06-15T13:50:00.009-05:002022-06-15T13:50:47.432-05:00Could it be an injury again?<p> Although I’ve only done about a post a month this year, pretty much every one of them has been about some sort of injury. Last Friday while at ABLE, I injured my right leg. It was during a transfer from the mat back to my wheelchair. Both therapists and I heard a “pop”. One of them thought it was just my hip, so I continued the rest of my session doing exercises in my chair.</p><p>That evening, night and next day, my leg along with knee started swelling up. It’s even more so than the effusion I had obtained over a month ago because it still hasn’t healed completely. Since I have some feeling, I could tell it was hurting along with how my body was reacting. My leg was spasming frequently and I was getting goosebumps (a sign of autonomic dysreflexia.)</p><p>I debated on whether to go to the orthopedic urgent care on Saturday, but decided against it on a weekend, since I didn’t know how long the wait time would be. We didn’t have a nurse Monday, so I went yesterday (Tuesday.) The wait time was about 1 ½ hours, which isn’t bad for an urgent care. After finally getting into a room, a doctor came in.</p><p>Based on everything that was going on, from there I went to get a couple of x-rays. When I got back into the room, he looked at them. He noticed a fracture, but thought it was from my old one of my tibia a couple years ago. Although to be sure, the Dr. had a radiologist look at it, and he determined that it was a new one. He was just going to put me in just a boot, but ultimately decided to cast it because it would be less likely to move around inside.</p><p>Even though there was an array of different colors, I chose a lighter blue (my favorite color.) The cast will be on for two weeks, then I will go back to the same place and get it taken off. That’s when they will give me a boot for the rest of the healing phase. I’m not sure how long that will be on, but I’m guessing just another couple of weeks or so.</p><p>Since starting ABLE, this is my third injury on my legs. Once this heals, I’m not certain on what my plans are going forward. I would hate to have to stop going. My favorite days have always been going there, and I’m always bummed when I can’t go. I’ve gotten so much stronger with function, strength, movement, and overall stamina. It’s been a big mood boost and raised my confidence level within myself.</p><p>I’m hoping I can go back at some point, although I don’t want any other injuries to happen. We would need to create a whole new routine, altering what I’ve been doing currently. Which would be unfortunate given what I’ve gained so far and how good it’s been for me. Once everything is healed, I will know more on what to do going forward.</p><p>Other than that, I’ve kind of put my book aside and been focusing more on writing poetry. By learning how to write proper poem styles, it’s really helped broaden my writing style. Also, I’ve learned how to “show not tell” when it comes to writing. This in turn is a great background have, particularly when writing my memoir. Despite the slight delay, it’s good to do different things, especially if it’s going to help long-term.</p><p>I have been getting outside as much as I can, but lately the weather has been hot and rainy. It’s only going get warmer within the next couple of months. Also, I’ve been going more places since COVID has died down a little. The problem is finding places to go. Since I don’t work, I mainly do stuff on my computer (which includes shopping online.)</p><p>I posted some pictures below of my fracture and cast. I’ll try to write more posts, not just updates.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY02G2VnVakPfomzNFjBeSdUboVGFwWOWpih7-lVUpzC4TJYFl6GxgxoxPOqNhq7oYmEdveRBAxdK-dR6KKn91PFGuSq8Xm2aP8RZlnR8lJeIibn4bEXNYtUpy1oqZLQjJiQxntSKSBd1RP-gxh39AjdjpBi9CyKnXt7hAmPm-5NZId47LkvuR2SSt/s640/Leg%20fracture%20%231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="640" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY02G2VnVakPfomzNFjBeSdUboVGFwWOWpih7-lVUpzC4TJYFl6GxgxoxPOqNhq7oYmEdveRBAxdK-dR6KKn91PFGuSq8Xm2aP8RZlnR8lJeIibn4bEXNYtUpy1oqZLQjJiQxntSKSBd1RP-gxh39AjdjpBi9CyKnXt7hAmPm-5NZId47LkvuR2SSt/s320/Leg%20fracture%20%231.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsMX6JlIhJFUjBN2WL4A2TNAQTzeV3O6VsIJjb5QDqo3cjBoRwbGFHUi4jBE_CWX69oOw3Prb6yZH--xgnKRNlvoe_VDhEYlSXYDKDWzT8-t9sd2WlAU5p2LsLzpxKOjhDAcrT5OBkuvAbz0GC7Qk8kPIGbUAJq-skEg7u4B9mXypmAVFx8ecjuxo/s640/Leg%20fracture%20%232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsMX6JlIhJFUjBN2WL4A2TNAQTzeV3O6VsIJjb5QDqo3cjBoRwbGFHUi4jBE_CWX69oOw3Prb6yZH--xgnKRNlvoe_VDhEYlSXYDKDWzT8-t9sd2WlAU5p2LsLzpxKOjhDAcrT5OBkuvAbz0GC7Qk8kPIGbUAJq-skEg7u4B9mXypmAVFx8ecjuxo/s320/Leg%20fracture%20%232.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can clearly see the fracture going diagonally across the right side</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9xQSEbcM--OUqQiQ4i1x6T-14SxlpvwHXWYKlwHOdERF4bdvGEltnhWLxQqLmCmUGoWFbnrteociv-SEIfIaSie6qwsnXosCN6-364I6OtEecUJQOrtMB2JxttOhC2yGe5NAPdaiEi2gbxG_2SGZFU9G_Vjd4JxxbbN7yV8KWwgDt8kgHaoSlYV5C/s640/Cast%20picture%20%231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9xQSEbcM--OUqQiQ4i1x6T-14SxlpvwHXWYKlwHOdERF4bdvGEltnhWLxQqLmCmUGoWFbnrteociv-SEIfIaSie6qwsnXosCN6-364I6OtEecUJQOrtMB2JxttOhC2yGe5NAPdaiEi2gbxG_2SGZFU9G_Vjd4JxxbbN7yV8KWwgDt8kgHaoSlYV5C/s320/Cast%20picture%20%231.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2PzPNz0j69p66ypr24JgBl5uLQlHs0IQDp_x5gvYjecTViXmZEscpaHPDwv1zoLhyLCuHDHdoIGOPiG3zKFA7dKSe9sQW7eIVtWs1F_-rHiNVw6Su_3PG7_I-xKqNVmDbwnUXhYth_iOFsS7rHj5dmgAwUoFGASusOru2RxTjyQNixbIfJhvUJk3/s640/Leg%20cast%20%232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2PzPNz0j69p66ypr24JgBl5uLQlHs0IQDp_x5gvYjecTViXmZEscpaHPDwv1zoLhyLCuHDHdoIGOPiG3zKFA7dKSe9sQW7eIVtWs1F_-rHiNVw6Su_3PG7_I-xKqNVmDbwnUXhYth_iOFsS7rHj5dmgAwUoFGASusOru2RxTjyQNixbIfJhvUJk3/s320/Leg%20cast%20%232.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-76640199870899220312022-05-18T22:07:00.003-05:002022-05-18T22:07:29.511-05:00My Knee… Again<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ojPHJIyhhuXTUSzaL1lF19o0OAKxhDluuIJHDTRAX90GxQWk3YNR6FfU6AN6or_hsOuA-mIuBxycVtfU352Zf6xhLAVUeYbrOpBmxMq36nPFLAIJISFr__f9_gEzrjZ3SMTqi3JJyooizv18qzstxOQXtaYfNERNPfDyt0Wjb80aqeW2_E4QyFkG/s640/Madi%20and%20Brody.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ojPHJIyhhuXTUSzaL1lF19o0OAKxhDluuIJHDTRAX90GxQWk3YNR6FfU6AN6or_hsOuA-mIuBxycVtfU352Zf6xhLAVUeYbrOpBmxMq36nPFLAIJISFr__f9_gEzrjZ3SMTqi3JJyooizv18qzstxOQXtaYfNERNPfDyt0Wjb80aqeW2_E4QyFkG/s320/Madi%20and%20Brody.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Madi and Brody</td></tr></tbody></table><p>So… I injured my right knee again. This time, it’s my actual knee that is twice the size as usual. I got an x-ray Monday and saw the orthopedic surgeon earlier today. Based off the results, my primary doctor said “there are no new fractures, although there is a new moderate knee joint effusion. There is a fair amount of fluid around the knee.” He highly recommended that I go to the orthopedic urgent care yesterday to get it evaluated.</p><p>Although, since there was no fracture, just fluid, it means that I probably injured it somehow or something to that extent. I decided to make an appointment to see the orthopedic surgeon today instead of waiting all day in urgent care. It would be first come, first served basis so I wouldn’t know how long I would be waiting there. It would all depend on the other people and their injuries who came in.</p><p>I think it happened on Friday during ABLE. I’m not sure exactly; could have been during a transfer or an exercise I was doing. Even though I have limited feeling, my knee started hurting that night. That’s also when the swelling started. Also, when there is a pain somewhere within my body, it reacts by muscle spasms in that area or location.</p><p>Before I got the results from the x-ray, I thought I had fractured or broken something. I thought the size of my knee was just fluid and a little swelling. The whole weekend I was alternating between ibuprofen and Tylenol along with icing it every hour or two for 15 or 20 minutes. I googled “how to keep swelling down in knee” and this was the result it told me to do. My nurses working also said it would help.</p><p>My appointment was at 2 PM, I used transportation to get to my appointment, and I got there about ½ an hour early. I waited, and they didn’t call me to a room until 2:15 PM. My ride was set up for 3 PM and the doctor came around 10 to 3. I was worried I wouldn’t make it before that time, but it literally only took 10 minutes for the doctor to explain what happened and what to do about it.</p><p>To sum it up, he said that the fluid would simply “go away and heal itself” within 3 to 4 weeks. He also said that I could do “mild range of motion on my right leg, depending upon how it feels.” Also, according to him, “I can go back to ABLE within a week or two depending on how it’s healing.” This was all great news to me, but I wish it could’ve been over video and instead of waiting so long.</p><p>Before COVID, appointments were strictly visit only. Now a lot of them are either over the phone or video, depending. I like that I have the option to choose, for convenience of course! These days it’s a little bit harder to get out of the house for something they can easily be done at home.</p><p>Writing my book and poems is still consuming a lot of my time. I was wondering, would anybody be willing to be interviewed for it? I’m looking for prospective along with stories and dialogue. Just email me at <a href="mailto:jtic20@gmail.com">jtic20@gmail.com</a>.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-37804620719543608132022-04-24T13:21:00.008-05:002022-04-24T13:37:40.488-05:00An Update of My Updates<p>Last week I went into the pain clinic to get the nerve block I talked about a couple of posts ago. They went ahead and just did the nerve block. It was a mixture of lidocaine and some other medicine. The doctor told me that if this helps with the pain, it can provide relief for up to six months or a year or not at all. It can be repeated every six months.</p><p>If it doesn’t help at all, the next step would be a procedure called a nerve ablation. It’s kind of like the nerve block, only the block just deadens the nerve endings. With an ablation of the knee “Genicular nerve ablation uses radiofrequency energy to deactivate the nerves that send the constant pain signals to your knee and surrounding structures.” </p><p>If I do this treatment it uses no medication and is performed completely outside your knee under precise image guidance. Most people achieve relief after the first week and take full effect after 3 to 4 weeks. For many patients, it’s effective in relieving the pain. It is possible that the nerve will regrow, although the procedure can be repeated if needed.</p><p>After the did the nerve block, it stopped hurting after a day or two. So far, it’s working, and I haven’t had to wear my knee brace sentence. I’m hoping that the nerve block lasts for a long time, so I don’t have to worry about doing the nerve ablation. Although at least there’s a second option afterwards just in case.</p><p>I have still been working on my book and writing poems. I’ve been very inspired, and write something, even if it’s just a sentence or paragraph every day. I’m hoping to include most of my poems in my book for others to read. A lot of them tie in nicely with what I’m writing, although some don’t. I’m not quite sure how long it will take me to finish. I still need to fill in each chapter with more stories and feelings.</p><p>Although, my goal is to be done with writing it by the end of this year. Then I need to work on publishing and selling. I can’t wait for everyone to read it. So far, it’s one of my greatest accomplishments since my accident. The other ones are surviving, graduating high school, college, and being crowned Ms. wheelchair Minnesota 2011.</p><p>Also, since spring started, every day has been different. Between snow, rain, and sun, I’ve been able to make it outside when I get a chance. I love being outdoors; it’s better than being stuck inside not knowing what to do. Brody loves it too! I can’t believe he’s 10 now and still thriving. Despite some arthritis, he still loves his walk and rolls.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><b>Patchwork Quilt</b></p><p>In real time my life is like a homemade quilt</p><p>organized then sewn using leftover scraps carefully cut</p><p>Stitched together to tell a story of an event or moment,</p><p>that’s important; the devastating loss turned to hope</p><p>The matters in which this patchwork is created</p><p>with smaller pieces crafting a whole symbolizes</p><p>connection of voices, womanhood, and sense of history</p><p>My body prudently put back together after a</p><p>life altering car accident paralyzing my limbs</p><p>Although when stitched together with love</p><p>even the rough patches and mistakes can be warming</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-2430490585524619492022-03-26T13:15:00.001-05:002022-03-26T13:18:11.015-05:00Writing and Poems<p>I’ve been creating some new poems lately. There’s a website I came across called <a href="https://allpoetry.com/" target="_blank">All Poetry</a>. It’s kind of like Instagram, only except posting photos and videos, you post your poetry. Then you can like and comment on people’s poems. You can also follow people and on your homepage other people’s poems pop up.</p><p>Even though I’m on Instagram, I don’t look at it often. In fact, I guess I don’t really go on Facebook that much either. But I am really interested in this poetry website, as I find the poems to be very creative. Some are inspiring, deep, or about people’s lives. In the last couple days, I have created four new poems. I posted them below.</p><p>I think the combination of writing my memoir, thinking about writing a blog post, and the website has gotten my creative juices flowing. Also, I have a lot of ideas in my mind right now about things going on, my accident, and myself. It makes me feel good to write, whether it’s for fun or for something specific. I also just love writing in general.</p><p>I suppose that’s why I’m so excited to get my book finished. Not just for others to read it, but for that sense of accomplishment. Since I don’t work, I spend my days working on my computer, going outside, playing board games, listening to audiobooks, organizing etc. I keep myself busy, although it does feel good when I finish something that I have been working on.</p><p>Jenni</p><p><br /></p><p><b>A Night of Terror, a Life of Gratitude</b></p><p>It happened in an instant, a sudden car accident that only takes seconds but lasts a lifetime. Going 60 mph on an off ramp, single car rollover, landing back on all four wheels. No memory of it; no hearing twists, blows or shocks my body endured before, during, or right after. Witnesses behind come to our rescue, not knowing what to expect. Fire truck siren blaring, ambulance whaling, police car yelping, helicopter blades whooshing coming to take me away. Kept highly sedated, not knowing what happened until a week afterwards. Sustaining a C1 C2 spinal cord injury, paralyzed from the neck down, ventilator breathing for me. Throughout my journey, finding what’s most important in life, realizing things happen for a reason.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Timeless War</b></p><p>Reality in life</p><p>Can be of strife</p><p>It pains to say</p><p>That things are this way</p><p><br /></p><p>Struggles throughout</p><p>Have many in doubt</p><p>Soldiers marching along</p><p>While remaining strong</p><p><br /></p><p>Nothing appears as it seems</p><p>Only in our dreams</p><p>It may be safe inside</p><p>Looking beyond many have cried</p><p><br /></p><p>Despite that feeling</p><p>We are healing</p><p>As things move through</p><p>Loss is few</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>No Silence</b></p><p>In my life there is no silence. Even when I am the only person in the room, there's always a constant flow of noise inserting into my ears, getting trapped inside my head. A whoosh of air going in and out, in and out; it is an everlasting hum that can be heard throughout the house. My ventilator breathes for me. Requiring electricity to run, it is an energy sucking, life-saving machine that never stops going. Power is essential. Electrical currents flow out of the outlet, up through the thick gray cord and into the machine. In and out, in and out; filling my lungs with air; oxygen running through my body; giving me life. It is a process that never stops, never sleeps and is never quiet. In my life there is no silence.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>My Lifeline</b></p><p>My lungs are expanding, in out, in out</p><p>I feel my chest rise and fall</p><p>I am one with the vent</p><p>It's breathing for me</p><p>The sound is like an airplane flying ahead</p><p>Colored lights flash across the surface</p><p>Attached to me always</p><p>It flows through me like wind through trees</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-88527024395887149202022-02-26T13:36:00.002-06:002022-02-26T13:36:23.400-06:00My Knees<p>After wearing my knee brace for about four months, it felt better every day. Although I decided to get an MRI on it to make sure everything’s better in my knee. I ended up doing both knees because there’s a bone sticking out under of my right knee the outside. Based on results, my orthopedic doctor told me that my left knee is completely healed despite that it still is painful on the side of my kneecap.</p><p>As far as my right, the bone that sticks out is just the way my fractured tibia healed. That was in 2019 and what ultimately brought me into the orthopedic surgeon, when I got my first MRI of both my legs. He said that my pain I am feeling on my left leg is possibly nerve pain. I’m going to schedule an appointment with a doctor in a pain clinic that specializes in a procedure called nerve blocking.</p><p>First, they inject the injured area with lidocaine to see if that takes the pain away. If it does, then they inject it with something that blocks the nerve (basically deadening all nerves in that area) to decrease or take away all pain. I’m hoping that this will be the answer I’m looking for to stop all pain. Right now it mostly hurts when being touched which is better than before.</p><p>I stopped wearing my knee brace during the day only on ABLE days to prevent any further injury. I can’t wait to see if the procedure works. Even though I am grateful that I can feel, I’m tired of the pain I have throughout a daily basis. I will keep you updated on how the process is going and if anything helps relieve my pain. It’s interesting that I’m writing about this because I’m almost finished with a chapter in my book related to physical therapy, movement, feeling and pain.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-24677062364236765602022-02-10T13:44:00.001-06:002022-02-10T13:44:41.435-06:00Working on My Memoir<p>I'm sure some people know but not all, but I'm in the middle of writing a memoir starting from my accident until now, with some parts that happened in the past. In order to focus fully on writing, I've been putting off my blog (which I think is reasonable since I have so much writing to do.) I have about 18 or 19 chapters so far but still have to fill them with more content.</p><p>I was wondering if any of you had any stories or things to share that I could put in it, because I don't have the greatest memory of everything that aspired either right after or throughout then until now. If you have any suggestions or can offer something to put in it, either comment below or even send me a private message on messenger. Also, if I do end up using a story that has someone's name in it, I would need your permission to do so, otherwise I could change the name to something different. Please let me know if you have anything.</p><p>Thanks,</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-72564865615179046292022-01-08T13:18:00.006-06:002022-01-08T13:18:58.826-06:00Opening of the New Year<p>Happy new year everyone! I hope you had a good holiday and New Year’s. Seems like 2022 is already going by fast, with already a week into it. I know the last two posts along with this have just been updates. Since I’ve been working on my book, my days spent on my computer have mostly been writing. Although I feel like I have gotten a significant amount of it finished. It just needs organization and structure.</p><p>Here’s a little taste of part of a chapter in my book:</p><p><span> </span>After such a life altering situation, there is a grieving process. As I lost my independence, movement, and personal space after my accident, I realized that to move forward I needed to fully process what happened to me. If I shifted my thinking right away and accepted that my situation was indeed happening. If only I thought to myself, “Even though it’s not the most ideal place to be in, but it's happening.” I believe I was tempted into putting off dealing with the unknown or just pretending that it didn’t exist.</p><p><span> </span>Over the years, I’ve set numerous goals for myself. They helped me move past painful memories and situations in which are difficult to handle. Going through the different stages afterwards proved to be a process. It was a testament of my faith and own self-healing process. Finding my own path in life, I would realize that things aren’t always how they seem. </p><p><span> </span>Our beginning milestones in life are rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking. There are many that we face throughout life like graduating, getting married and working a new job, that we don’t count but are easily important. For me, I began gaining self-awareness, surviving disappointment, and learning a new perspective.</p><p><span> </span>I was flooded with a vast of new emotions like feelings of loss in the early days following my injury. Like many people, I was stuck wondering “how could such a terrible thing happened to ME?” I started to become paralyzed with fear for what I had underwent and lost in the beginning. To get to the accepting stage, it took not only my mom, but others around me and myself to be able to overcome obstacles that would my way.</p><p><span> </span>There is an average amount who suffer spinal cord injuries who survive past the first 24 hours. It is often unpredictable what the journey to recovery is like, but it is usually long. Some sufferers of SCI’s simply accept what happened to them right away and for others it may take days, months or even years. The feelings of people who endure grief is widespread across all planes. I realize that there were times when I went through a grieving process of losing my independence and the loss of movement/feeling.</p><p>Jenni</p>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.com0