This Year

Dealing with infections, being sick, pain etc. in my situation is very frustrating and difficult. It brings a lot of stress along with taking up a lot of my time. Not to mention my body doesn’t handle it very well. I get a lot of spasms and my muscles get tight making it hard to do range of motion and causes pain. It seems that one thing affects another and another and so on.

This year has taken a toll on my body physically and emotionally. On January 17, I was hospitalized for pneumonia and discharged 3 months later on March 2. They realized I had an infection in my vertebrate that turned into an abscess. They had to drain it and put me on antibiotics. I also had a hole in my esophagus but they weren't sure exactly what it was from. They had to do surgery on it alongside putting drains in for the pneumonia and infection.

Since then, I’ve been in and out of the hospital 3 times due to respiratory infections; one in April for 3 days and two in June. There are many causes for respiratory infections and it’s even harder for someone on a ventilator to avoid and/or get rid of them with simple antibiotics. This is what caused many of my hospitalizations.

My most resent and 5^th hospitalization was from December 9-12. At first, we thought it was due to a respiratory infection. I was on multiple medications and nebulizers prior to being admitted but nothing seemed to help. One day before, instead of green secretions I started suctioning up bright red blood and clots. This was clearly not the infection I thought it was.

During my admission, they were able to determine that I no longer had an infection and the blood was not coming from any sort of abrasion in my lungs that they could see. Good and bad news. In the end, the ruling was that I had a blood vessel in my lower right lobe that burst/broke open which caused the bleeding. Either it was going to heal by itself or they would have to go in and cauterize it. Luckily, they sent me home and within a couple of days the bleeding stopped.

In the beginning of the year when I got sick, I wrote this when my body took over my mind: “I’m sick of being sick. Not only is my situation frustrating, difficult, stressful, and painful it’s emotionally and physically exhausting. I’m surrounded by things in which I cannot control and that includes my own body. I am paralyzed from the neck down and I’m struggling while dealing with the constant downhill battle I’m being taken on.”

What I wrote simply explains exactly what I feel like sometimes, especially when I’m unable to control the things around me. That includes my own body and health. I’m sure that others in my situation may have similar feelings. The past couple of years have been like nothing other for me as far as sickness goes. Aside from my initial six-month stay in the hospital post accident, I’ve spent a lot of time recovering my body and restoring my health.

Unfortunately my lungs are not as strong as they used to be. I’m not able to handle being outside and going as many places like I wish I could. It doesn’t help being on a ventilator 24/7 in which I’m prone to chronic infections. I have to be very careful about what environment I’m in and not expose myself to anything that may harm me. This also means staying indoors during the cold Minnesota whether, which doesn’t help satisfy my need to break free from my house once in a while.

I wish I could’ve been able to blog and update more often but with everything that’s gone on, this post alone took the last couple months to write! That’s a long time for me considering how much I love to write and the dedication I have for updating everyone. I’m hoping for a strong recovery, making sure that I stay well in order to avoid sickness and hospitalizations. For now, I will continue to do as much as possible and blog within my capabilities.

Also, my blog looks a little different than it did before. I’ve been unable to design it how I like so I went with as basic as possible even though there are some things that look off.

 

Jenni