tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post2969773226808194080..comments2024-02-25T13:43:45.083-06:00Comments on The Site That Breathes: Stories from the PastJennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-62017924340090670112009-11-22T17:32:04.958-06:002009-11-22T17:32:04.958-06:00Hi there again,
It occurred to me last week that ...Hi there again,<br /><br />It occurred to me last week that all your "writings" are actually speeches, so that might explain why you repeated yourself in that paragraph I pointed out. One of the people I subscribe to on Twitter is a woman in Australia called Hayley who has RSD or CRPS, a condition which causes intense pain and, sometimes, paralysis although not in her case, I don't think (Hilary Lister has it). She recently installed Dragon as, I suspect, the pain in her wrists was getting too bad to type with, but she was having difficulty "writing" by speaking. She has a blog <a href="http://rellacafa.com/" rel="nofollow">here</a>. I suggested she come over here and she said she would. I thought her pain must be bad if she is resorting to this, but then, some people just can't type.<br /><br />Are you ever going to do a feature on your wheelchair? Details like what type it is, whatever special features it has and why this one was chosen and not another.Matthew Smithhttp://www.blogistan.co.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-78171554438650317692009-11-15T14:00:53.615-06:002009-11-15T14:00:53.615-06:00Thanks Matt for the advice. I'm going to chang...Thanks Matt for the advice. I'm going to change it for my final draft.Jennihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02170673086935323144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-21474186406243502542009-11-14T15:29:08.130-06:002009-11-14T15:29:08.130-06:00I just thought I should give you a bit of advice: ...I just thought I should give you a bit of advice: this passage needs a little rewrite:<br /><br /><em>I am overwhelmed with feelings. Thoughts and emotions are filling my head like water seeping into an open hole. My feelings are very strong, and I begin to show it.</em><br /><br />I say this because you've mentioned non-specific thoughts and feelings in three consecutive sentences, and the simile in the second sentence looks a lot like box-checking. Can I suggest something like:<br /><br /><em>I am overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, which seep into my head (etc.), and I cannot help but show it.</em><br /><br />I loved the essay though and I didn't realise the hair donations carried such emotion for you. I didn't notice that anything was out of place or ill-formatted. A while back I saw something on TV here in England about where a lot of the hair used in wigs in the West comes from - often poor people in India. It's touching to read about someone donating hair when it meant a lot to her, for people who really need it.Matthew Smithhttp://www.blogistan.co.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938228145507926076.post-27184064707709717802009-11-13T15:37:13.692-06:002009-11-13T15:37:13.692-06:00You're a great writer! Thank you for your ins...You're a great writer! Thank you for your inspiring words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com